Humility

Every Saturday evening for the past 30 years, my husband and I have enjoyed Date Night.

When our son, Jamie, was young, we actually enjoyed date night without ever leaving our home! At 7:30pm, Jamie went into his room where he was allowed to watch TV and/or read for an hour and we started Date Night with dinner and champagne in the dining room.  At 8:30pm, we kissed Jamie “goodnight” and headed off to our bedroom. Of course, our night continued with a wardrobe change, an after dinner drink (or two) and lots of PASSION. Jamie knew we were not to be “disturbed,” unless it was something really important. This worked perfectly!

In addition to these home Date Nights, we also had Date Nights where we went out for dinner and dancing. One particular night, we headed to the Ritz in Boston for dancing on the rooftop. I wore a gorgeous, elegant gown, which simply embraced my body – making me look and feel quite glamorous. As it turned out, my make-up and hair came out perfectly and frankly, I looked spectacular. My husband wore his stunning tuxedo. We looked like Richard Gere and Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.  We were the epitome of style, class and elegance.  As we arrived, heads turned, people stared and we became the center of attention for the entire night.  As we danced till dawn, I knew that we were fabulous. 

The following morning, my husband and I went to 8am mass. As we arrived for mass, Brother Gregory said, “I’m so glad you’re here. After mass, I want to show you the picture of my sister-in-law. She’s the one who looks exactly like you.” Although Brother Gregory was older, I assumed he must have a much younger “real” brother who was married to a young attractive movie star.

After mass, Brother Gregory showed me the photo of his sister-in-law who was somewhere between 70-75 years old. She had blonde curly hair and a lovely smile, but was at least 40 pounds over weight and dressed in a very simple cotton frock. Brother Gregory looked at me and in complete sincerity said, “don’t you two look like twins? You look almost exactly alike.” I looked and saw absolutely no resemblance. He added, “and as I’ve told you before, my sister-in-law is so sweet and wonderful, just like you.” Of course, I remarked, “oh yes Brother Gregory, I can see the resemblance.”

Saturday Night, I was a movie star – gorgeous and quite amazing. Sunday morning, not so much!

This was not only a lesson in humility but also something even greater. The people at the Ritz admired my outer beauty, but Brother Gregory saw the inner beauty. Yes. Beauty is indeed in the eyes of the beholder. I took great comfort and joy that Brother Gregory always said kind and wonderful words about his sister-in-law and about me. It was from that connection, that he determined how we looked like twins. Brother Gregory’s compliment was far more valuable to me than any other from that weekend. As Judge Judy says, “beauty fades. Brains are forever.” 

And as I’ve matured in life, I feel blessed that while the boobs may sag a little more and the fine lines increase, as long as I remember that beauty comes from within, I will still be that gorgeous Pretty Woman to myself and others.