Women Role Models

Do you know that if you ask most men to name the people they admire and strive to emulate, they have clear and concise answers?

Now if you ask women the same question, they will often give a plethora of responses.  They want to be as beautiful as Jennifer Lopez, as thin as Heidi Klum as smart as Hillary Clinton, as supportive as Laura Bush, as talented as Meryl Steep, as sexy as Angelina Jolie, as witty as Ellen DeGeneres, and as giving as Mother Theresa.  Further, we believe that if we fall short in any of these categories, we must try harder!

Here’s my first little secret for you. 

Laura Bush is not as thin as Heidi. Ellen is not as beautiful as Jennifer.  And Hillary is certainly not as sexy as Angelina. 

It’s really not our fault that we are so screwed up.  Let’s face it.  When Gloria Steinem tried to convince us to “burn our bras” and be the same as men, many of us said, “no”.  During an interview, I said to her, “When men can have babies, they we will be “the same”.  I continued, I want to embrace my femininity and I certainly will “compete in the boardroom, but not in the bedroom.”

Okay then there was Marabelle Morgan who was antithesis to Gloria Steinem.  Marabelle wanted us to dedicate our entire lives to pleasing our man.   As he arrives after a long day’s work, (like we haven’t had one), dinner should be prepared and most importantly we should greet him with a smile and wrapped in Saran Wrap.

Now to be fair, I did do the Saran Wrap thing around my thighs, but only because I was told it reduces cellulite. 

But the best book of all times was Helen Gurley Browns, “The Total Woman”.  She had us getting up at dawn to fix breakfast, look gorgeous, get to the office early (so we could compete with our male counterparts), get home, prepare a gourmet dinner for “our man”, look gorgeous again, get sexy, make mad passionate love, while never ever denying his wants or needs and just before bed -- get pretty again. 

Frankly, I’m exhausted just writing this.

So whom should we blame?  Blame the media, blame your parents, blame your insecurities, blame all womankind.  Okay, maybe not all womankind.  But for a moment, let’s talk about the media. 

I subscribe to a magazine called “More” for women over 40.  Let me tell you, they normally feature sharp, beautiful, thin women!  And how about all the “quizzes” and “tests” we all take in these magazines.

Let’s see there’s everything from “How to Climb the Corporate Ladder while becoming a Gourmet Chef, to How to have thinner thighs in 30 days while becoming a Kama Sutra Sexpert.  (Actually having lots of sex would help those thighs) . Oh, and don’t forget the “How to become a female Buddhist Monk (actually called  Bhikhuni) while climbing Mount Everest.   Recently I took a magazines “Career Aptitude Test” to see if I could fit the corporate profile.  Midway through, I started laughing hysterically.  Here I am CEO of a multi-million dollar company and yet I’m taking a stupid dumb ass magazine quiz.  Stupid me.

You know, several years ago Sally Field won an Academy Award and was chastised for her “trite comments” during her acceptance speech. I, for one, understood exactly where she was coming from.   She said, “You like me--you really like me”.

But ladies let’s change that.  From now own, let’s have our mantra be, “I like me--I really like ME!

Lunch with Sisters

Yesterday, my sister Charlene called unexpectedly and suggested that she, my sister Chris and I meet for lunch.  It was completely impromptu and as luck would have it, we were all available.

We met at a local hotel that has a lovely outside area.  As I drove toward the restaurant, there were several “walkers” and joggers on the roadside.  It was the first time I had witnessed so many people outdoors.  Of course, it was also the first really warm day I had experienced since my return to Boston.  I realized how fortunate I am to be living in Hawaii where the weather is just about perfect every day.

Anyway, my sister Chris convinced us to have a Skinny Girl Mojito.  (That’s fresh mint, fresh lime, club soda, vodka and Splenda…actually quite good!)  We also shared an Italian antipasto.  Finally we decided to share one slice of Red Velvet Cake. 

For those of you that know my sister Chris, you will not find it surprising that she started chatting with some gentlemen at another table.  As it turned out, one fellow was an Attorney and knew our Dad quite well.  As they approached the table, the other fellow came up to me and gave me a big kiss on the cheek. 

Hmmmm??? Believe this or not, I went to high school with him. 

Now here’s the funny part. 

Of course I remembered him –he had the “hots” for one of my best friends.  But, yesterday he told my sisters that he and I had “a thing”.  He described my car and what I wore to the prom (not with him). Let’s be clear –he and I never had anything.  Again, I tell you he was far more interested in my girlfriend –at least so I thought.

He then proceeded to tell my sisters and me how he had followed my success.  He told the Attorney that I am a “Billionaire” (which I’m not).  And then talked about our house in Hawaii and the fact that President Reagan stayed there.  He knew about our private Jet and the fact that WJJ and I had been on “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous”.

It was actually quite amazing to hear someone talk about my life with such detail. 

Frankly, I didn’t remember half the stuff.

By the way, he is still quite handsome and invited me to join him for a drink to “reminisce.” 

Yeah, right! 

Of course, he is married (evidenced by the wedding ring) but never mentioned his wife. 

So part of me felt really good that someone had kept track of my life.  The other part of me thought it was a bit odd.   My sisters absolutely do not believe that I did not have a high school fling with this fellow. 

Trust me, if I had I would have remembered.  

I wasn’t exactly voted “Class Queen” so I know exactly who I dated in high school. By the way, that was before WJJ.

But here is the big question. 

Do you think he had the “hots” for me in high school or do you think that he heard about my financial success and has subsequently thought about how “dumb” he was NOT to have had the “hots” for me back then?

While it is a most interesting question, I will never know the answer.  And the bottom line is, I may not have been the prettiest or most popular gal in high school, but I think I’ve done just fine.  And remember, WJJ met me when I was 18 and fell in love with me based on who I was NOT who I am today. 

Thank you Walter!