A Unique Love Story

I was recently asked by UndercoverWear’s Public Relations Director to write a blurb about how I met my husband and why our love story is so “unique.”

Well, I burst out laughing and I’m still laughing! What’s so unique – where do I begin?

Let’s start with how we met…

Walter was my sisters’ guitar teacher. He was way too serious for me (then 18 years old) and I liked the other guitar teacher better – the cute one. Every Monday, I’d take my sisters to their lesson, hoping the cute guitar teacher would ask me out. Instead, Walter did. What a dilemma! My mom convinced me to go, “Oh go – it’s a free meal,” she said.

One free meal turned into 41 years!

We dated for five months and Walter entered the Army. I knew right away that we’d get married, but he didn’t. There was training, then Vietnam. Maybe it was his amazing adoration of me (or the fact that he was going off to war), but he proposed. I was suddenly engaged.

Walter returned from Vietnam and we were married 30 days later – a big Italian Greek Wedding. From that day on, we’ve lived, worked and played together – every day!

Over the years, we’ve had a wild ride. We got married, lost everything (financially) twice, nearly lost our son to Reyes Syndrome, built an incredibly successful business, traveled around the world several times, owned many homes (President Regan even stayed at one of them), we’ve been through a plethora of really good times and been through almost as many really bad times.

What’s kept us together?  Love? Did we really love each other when we married?  How well did we really even know each other? 

Was it commitment? Did we stay together for our son? Was it our religious beliefs? I’m sure those factored in during difficult times, but neither of us would ever do anything to hurt our son. I guess we loved our son more than we hated each other.

So, was it luck? Nah – I’m not a believer in that concept.

After 23 years of marriage, we decided to renew our vows.

This time it was different. I was far more nervous. I was no longer the 21-year-old living her “dream wedding.” Instead, I stood before Walter knowing that I wanted to take my last breath with him. 

From that moment on, all the “small stuff” that once caused “debates” disappeared…the power struggles dissipated… the ego of “what I bring to the relationship” evaporated.

For Walter and me – it’s not “I,” it’s “we.” It’s not my house, my son or my business – it’s all OURs.

I’ve learned the secret of a successful marriage. My only goal is to keep Walter happy. When he’s happy, I’m happy too! When he’s miserable, trust me – he makes me incredibly miserable…and then we both laugh.

Laughter, sharing, love, caring, respect & admiration play a huge part in a successful marriage. Understanding what works for the two of you – as a couple – because it’s not the same for everyone. Overlook one another’s faults. Perhaps never really accept those faults, but overlook them. Take time for one another. Walter is my first priority and I am his.

Give in on things that don’t matter – who cares what show you watch! I watch Discovery with Walter and he watches Grey’s Anatomy with me. The key is that we have so many TVs in our home, yet we don’t disappear to watch our shows – we’d rather be together. Remember, it’s “WE” no “ME.”

Of course, we have great sex. Someone once said, “You can have a lousy marriage and great sex, but you can’t have a great marriage and lousy sex.”

This blog has become a book and I haven’t even talked about the “ying and yang” part of our relationship, or the compatibility factors, or the “Don’t argue when you are REALLY annoyed” lesson…

There’s no simply way to describe how we’ve made it work. We’ve been married 15,025 days! Let’s see, if I learned a lesson each week, that’s over 2000 lessons in how to be a better person and wife!

Forty-one years and counting – I guess I’ve done OK!

Six Degrees (Part III)

Six Degrees (part 3)

So, we’re getting even closer! My sister found out that James Gandolfini frequents Strega – one of Boston’s Italian restaurants. His photos are all over the walls!

So, I asked my son if he knew of the restaurant and evidently, we’ve all been there with UndercoverWear’s controller, Marc Gucciardi – who is good friends with the owner.  

Here we go - we own UndercoverWear…Marc works at UndercoverWear…Marc knows the owner of Strega…the owner knows James Gandolfini…and do you remember? James Gandolfini is my new friend Ruth’s son-in-law!

Needless to say, I think I’ve proven the “six degrees” theory. Except, I haven’t figured out how Teresa is going to fit into all of this…

If I were to change goals, I suppose I might decide to encourage, Mr. Gandolfini’s wife, Deborah Lin, to book an UndercoverWear Show – complete with our intimacy boutique. Then again, I’m not one to admit defeat and change direction. Not yet! I have to exhaust all possible avenues to reach my goal – which is to book a show with Teresa!

Let’s review the goal – to invite, Teresa and the other Housewives of New Jersey, to experience an UndercoverWear, Girls Night Out.

Cross your fingers and please throw it out into the Universe. (A Facebook Share or Tweet couldn’t hurt either!)  I know this is going to happen!

Drinks with Friends

OK Ladies, you‘ve got to be more creative when it comes to drinking with your girlfriends. I mean, we asked you what you like to drink and you said, “wine, Malibu Rum or Jack & Coke?!” Really… Let’s get adventurous.

First, try a real Skinny Girl Mojito. You’ve got to tell the bartender how you want it. Crush the mint, then add club soda, followed by 3 packets of Splenda and finally lots of Vodka. There are absolutely NO calories here other than the vodka!

Want to impress the bartender? Ask for a Vesper Cocktail. This drink was made famous in the James Bond movie Casino Royal. It consists of three parts Gin, one part Vodka and ½ part Lillet (pronounced “Li-lay”) – a French aperitif. To sound really clever, specify white Lillet or Chopin vodka (a potato vodka) which was preferred by Bond. Make sure you request it shaken until it is very cold and served in a large champagne goblet.

                       

Let’s plan the perfect “Girlfriend Drinking Party.” Have the bartender serve several types of wines at different prices ranges. Everyone has to identify the wine and the cost. It’s great fun and you’ll be surprised which wine you like best! Obviously, you must have a friendly bartender who will keep track for you. Don’t forget to tip your bartender…WELL!

Here’s another trick. Believe it or not, you can order a great bottle of champagne and it will be less expensive than individual drinks and much more fabulous. If you’re planning on “prostituting” the champagne by adding flavors, you’re much better off ordering a side of Crème de Cassis or Llikoi to add as you like it.  

And last but not least, a creation from my husband…

Combine 2 parts Bailey’s Irish Cream, 1 part Amaretto and 2 parts vodka. (Tip: order the “house” Vodka. Mixing Vodka with anything other than Gin or rocks doesn’t call for a premium brand.) Anyway, you either mix the ingredients together and serve it straight in a brand snifter OR you can serve it on the rocks. You can even blend it with a little ice. This is down right fabulous. My husband invented this on a flight from Boston to Hawaii. It’s the perfect celebration of friendship among friends .

Finally, the most important tip – don’t drink and drive. It’s better to pay a taxi than to pay a lawyer!

Relax.

I really loved all the answers you gave when we asked, “What do you do to relax after a long, stressful day?” Not surprisingly, the number one response was “have a cocktail.” We all know the short-term benefits of alcohol – tension relief, relaxation and the notion that all our problems have faded away – at least temporarily.

My husband and I enjoy an evening vodka martini at just about 6pm every night! For us, it’s less of a stress reducer and more of a social time to chat and catch up on our day.

So what do I do to relax? I have a whole list of techniques starting with mind, body and soul, and then adding in some fun and joy!

MIND: I determine the cause of my stress – why am I suddenly feeling more angst? How is today different than yesterday? Am I worrying about things that may or may not happen? Am I overwhelmed? Is this a real problem? Am I simply feeling out of control?  Finally, I ask how my stress level compares to life or death situations. Usually, that puts things into perspective.

BODY: Time to do some gentle stretches or jump in the pool – naked. Taking a wonderful warm bubble bath while listening to opera can also help. If at all possible, get a massage.

SOUL: I take a few minutes to really breathe. I walk outside, appreciate what I have and think about all the joys I’ve experienced in life. I count my blessings and throw in a “Thank you, Lord” prayer. Then, I usually write a note to someone I care about.

FUN: I love to watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding or The Devil Wears Prada. I paint cards with watercolors. I hula-hoop for 15 minutes. I dance around the disco to “Dancing Queen.” I call my friend Dan because he has the most hilarious sense of humor. For the most fun, I call my son who always makes me laugh.

JOY: This is easy – I call one of my sisters or Skype with my granddaughter. I kiss my husband 10 times in a row. I play “Never on Sunday” and think of my parents. I call someone who needs to have her spirits lifted. I send my daughter-in-law a card telling her how grateful I am that she makes our son so happy. I think about all the women that UndercoverWear has helped.

Then, I have a martini!

One Step Closer to Teresa Giudice!

So far, our Six Degrees approach to contacting Teresa has not worked. However, I might be one step closer. Last night, we were at a dinner party and I met a lovely woman – 70 years young, stunning and accomplished. Of course, we immediately started chatting.

I thought she was fabulous! Truth be told, it didn’t hurt that she seriously thought I’d been a New York model. I graciously accepted the compliment and set the record straight that I hadn’t modeled in New York. She insisted, so I conceded, “perhaps a bit.” Well I did you know – I was no Cindy Crawford, but those UndercoverWear fashion shows are pretty packed!

Anyway, we got on the topic of our children – I proudly talked about my son and his family, while she told me about her son who works at the Hilton Hawaiian Village and her daughter in New York.

Her NY daughter married a Soprano – I didn’t know if she meant vocalist or gangster! Neither – her daughter, a model and actress, is married to James Gandolfini from “The Sopranos.”

Mr. Gandolfini is obviously Italian, born in New Jersey. I have no idea if “Jimmy” knows Teresa or if he’s coming to Hawaii in the near future. I don’t even know if I will meet him. However, I think this is an omen. I WILL be doing an UndercoverWear show for the Housewives of New Jersey. I can feel it.

We’re getting closer.

Stay tuned as we test the validity of the “Six Degrees of Separation…”

There is no success without failure

  

The other night, my husband and I had dinner at a friend’s home. The meal was incredible – we started with Foie Gras, then Pasta with garlic and oil, followed by rack of Lamb, salad and apple pie with ice cream for dessert. We rounded out the night with cheese and balsamic vinegar.  Each course also had a wine pairing.

After dinner, I indulged in a “ladies cigar” with our host.

That night, as I tried to sleep, my lamb was fighting with the duck that was obviously strangled by the pasta as it swam in the wine. As I tossed and turned, I started thinking. And, if “thinking too much” were a real ailment, I would be a victim.

I recently watched “A Cinderella Story” featuring Hillary Duff. My husband and I have criteria about movie themes – they can be fun, romantic, a mystery or even a good solid adventure film. However, we won’t watch a movie that is so darn complicated that it puts my already overloaded brain on Valium watch. (The Academy Award winning Coen Brothers’ “No Country for Old Men” was way too deep and depressing for me – frankly, we BOTH thought it one of the worst movies ever!) On occasion, “A Cinderella Story” is just my speed.

Getting back to Sleepless in Hawaii… I couldn’t stop thinking about “A Cinderella Story.” It’s not a tale of a girl who wants to be a princess. Instead, it’s a modern day version of the tale in which Cinderella’s dad leaves his wisdom for his daughter.

He says to her, “Never let the fear of striking out prevent you from playing the game.” Boy, do I like that – I REALLY like that.

So many people are “afraid to fail.” They walk through life thinking they can’t fail if they don’t try. However, my believe is if I fear failure and don't try, I cannot succeed."

Everyone loves success – the joy of feeling that you’ve achieved your goal. But I think Truman Capote said it best, “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”

To fail at something is sad and uncomfortable, but to never try for fear of failure, is simply unacceptable. So, thank you, “A Cinderella Story,” for reminding me to tell everyone…

Come on. Get in the ballgame! Don’t be afraid of striking out! For every strike out, you are one step closer to a home run.

TJ

(I know, why am I even talking about baseball with my Red Sox out of the running? I’m either really committed to my blog, or just stupid. I’ll go with committed.)