Merry Christmas

Christmas Eve is finally upon us.    

You’ve completed your shopping...sent out your cards, smiled each time you received a greeting from a long lost friend and you’re ready to experience the true magic of Christmas.

My Christmas wish for you is that you take time to sit back, watch your family and friends enjoying one another and capture a “snapshot” to hold in your heart for years to come. Cherish loved ones with whom you spend the holidays – you don’t know how long they will be here for you to love. 

Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night!

10 Favorite Things to Receive at Christmas

So, we’ve covered my favorite things to give, but here are some of my personal favorite gifts that I’ve received at Christmas.   Let’s do this one Letterman Style…

My Top 10 favorite things to receive at Christmas are:

10.  Food – not like baskets of food – actual food that someone makes for me. Let’s see, there’s Nancy’s famous stuffed peppers and delicious Date nut bread. And, of course, there’s Carols’ Beef Jerky. Don’t forget Shirley’s Peppermint candy or my Aunt Cora’s cookies. YUMMY!!!!

9.  Wine, Vodka or Champagne. Any great bottle of wine works for me. Give me a great Cabernet or Bordeaux and I am one happy person! My former assistant Gina has found some interesting vodkas...Have you heard of Grass Vodka?!  My daughter-in-law Cheryl gave us Moët Chandon champagne with our names on the bottle in Swarovski Crystal. 

8. Speaking of Cheryl, let’s add her crazy unusual gifts to this list. Of course, I always get fabulous gifts, too – but she can find the most bizarre items in the world.  I’m sure she goes to the As Seen on TV store and figures only I would enjoy the “Ahh Bra,” the Strap Convertor or the Shake Weight. Don’t forget my favorite, “The Twisty Towel.”

7. Cards – I love to send cards, so one of my favorite gifts was a basket filled with really pretty cards. Loved getting and using it!

6. Massage Certificates – I could spend my life having massages!!!

5. Omaha Steaks – the Private Reserve. OMG…best steaks in the WORLD!

4.  New Electronic “stuff” that Jamie programs and gets ready for me.  I love my Kindle and I love my iPhone, but don’t ever ask me to program any of it.

3. Many years ago, my first mink Coat from my husband. I saw him bring in a box, so I sneaked in the closet and put my hand in the box. I felt something “weird” and thought, “oh my gosh, he got me some cheap fur trimmed coat!” Boy, was I pleasantly surprised.

2.  Niccie – anything with photos of her…anything she has made or anything she has personally picked out for me. It doesn’t matter what it is; I love it.

1. While my husband has given me jewelry, cars and many fabulous gifts, my favorite was my first tiny gold and diamond butterfly necklace. He had been in Vietnam for 18 months, and wanted to make up for all the holidays he had missed. He did so by filling our soon-to-be den with wrapped up gifts for every occasion he had missed in the appropriate wrapping paper.  Of course, there was lingerie for Valentine’s Day, a bottle of wine for my birthday (I’d just turned 21) and my beautiful butterfly necklace. My jewelry may have gotten larger over the years, but nothing will ever be as meaningful as that necklace.  Thank you, Walter.

Most Heartfelt Christmas

It was December 23 and I received a call in my office from my sister. My mother wasn’t feeling well and she had just taken her to the doctor. I asked her if everything was okay.

“Not really,” she said with an eerie calmness in her voice. “Mom has a tumor the size of a grapefruit on her colon.”

I asked, “Is it cancer?”

“Yes,” she said. “She’s going to be operated on tomorrow and it doesn’t look good.”

I hung up the phone, fell to my knees and screamed at the top of my lungs. I looked straight up to heaven and said, “God, you cannot take my Mother. I won’t let you. I swear, if Mother dies, I will become a Satan worshipper.”

Okay, so this wasn’t exactly the smartest move on my part – you know, threatening   God is not too bright.

Anyway, we all went to my Parent’s house that evening and of course we were devastated. My incredible mother could see the pain in the faces of her girls. She gave us her “look” and said, “Girl’s, I want to talk to you.”.

She sat us in her tiny TV room (her alone domain) and said, “OK stop this and stop it now. First of all, you’re all walking around her like you’re at a funeral – I’m not dead yet. And listen very carefully, I’ve had a great life. I’m 69 years old and have no regret. Remember, if something happens to me tomorrow, I know you will all cry. But understand, that if I die before my children and my children die before their children then we will be blessed. That, my daughters, is the circle of life.”

She had her operation and the doctor felt confident that, despite the size of the tumor, he had gotten it all – what a blessing! It was Christmas Eve and naturally, we had all spent the day at the hospital. My husband, son and I arrived back in Boston around 8:00 PM, but the last thought on our minds was Christmas Eve. 

As we arrived home, the concierge told us that the Maitre d’ from Aujord Hui at the Four Seasons called to see how everything turned out. Living right next door to the Four Seasons certainly made us regulars. Our concierge then told us some gentlemen wanted to drop by briefly to wish us a “Merry Christmas.” Part of me wanted to simply say, “Please tell them we’re not here,” but I didn’t. 

Guess what? It was Steve, the Maitre d’, his assistant Dante and a server named Jeffrey – all armed with platters of food. Christmas Eve Dinner (with all the trimmings) courtesy of these remarkable gentlemen.  

How much better can a Christmas Eve get when you’re given the gift of love AND the gift of having your mother for another 9 years? That Christmas Eve could have been memorable for so many reasons, instead, it will forever be one etched in my brain as one of the best!

Best Gifts to Give at Christmas

I was recently asked about my favorite gifts to give and receive for Christmas. I’d like to share those lists with you, but first let me share some very cute stories.

Before I was married, I bought my Mother a fabulous 3-piece-pajama lounging set – pants, a top and a jacket. (Seems like I was always interested in lingerie.) The jacket came in two lengths – short or to-the-floor. My mother was tiny, so I went with the short one. On Christmas morning, as we unwrapped our gifts, I panicked while opening one of mine – the same gold lame set. I thought for sure I had inadvertently opened my mother’s present. I looked again and my mother was opening her present. Much to our surprise, we got each other the exact same gift, except I received the long jacket. It was apparent we both loved glitz and glamour.

Fast-forward many years.

After a brisk morning walk along the Charles River one early October, I stopped on Newbury Street to get a cappuccino. In one of the store windows, was an incredible life-size leopard shoe chair. It was amazing! Based on the fact that my husband and I got our start selling shoes, dresses and lingerie combined with my love shoes and Walter’s love of buying them for me, I knew I’d found the perfect gift for him. 

Naturally, I bought the chair and asked them to hold it until December when someone from our warehouse could pick it up. On December 24^th, I instructed one of the guys to pick up the chair and bring it to our home.  I then asked our Housekeeper to put the chair in the guest room on the opposite side of the bed – down flat so it was out of sight. Later that evening, I told my son Jamie that I discovered either the best or most ridiculous gift in the world for his father. He took one look at the chair and voted, “ridiculous.” Quote, “Dad is going to hate this.”

I awoke Christmas morning to my husband opening champagne – one of our many holiday traditions. I walked into our living room to hang his Christmas stocking and noticed that Jamie had brought the chair out of the guest room into the living room and had put a sheet over it so my husband couldn’t really tell what is was. 

As I hung the stocking on the piano, I noticed that we had purchased the exact same Christmas stocking for each other – in the shape of a Shoe – and they were from different stores. I was so tickled to know now that he would LOVE my gift.

As he approached the living room, my husband looked at me with a bit of annoyance.  He said, “Why didn’t you come into the kitchen first like you normally do?”  He added, “You’ve really spoiled your surprise,” looking at the covered chair. “What surprise?” I asked. He said, “One of your gifts.” As I looked closer, I realized the bottom of the chair was not covered and it was RED! He pulled back the sheet and there was the same shoe chair, but in red!

As I stood laughing hysterically, Jamie came in and couldn’t believe his eyes. He then brought out my husband’s leopard chair. Yes. We bought each other the same exact chair! We picked it up the same day, from the same place and had actually “hidden” it in the same room – mine behind the bed and his in the bathroom behind the shower.

Jamie simply looked at us both and said, “Well, now I know why you two have been married so long!”

Those two chairs have followed us to Hawaii and, I can assure you, will be with us forever.

So, when you review my lists in the coming weeks, please know the best part of giving and receiving is the Christmas gifting experience. And, these two incredible Christmas gift stories rank high on my list!

Holiday Happiness

Here we are again – the floats made their way through Manhattan, every city has lit it’s version of the Rockefeller Center Tree, your husband and children are in the holiday spirit and Christmas Carols are playing all day on the radio.  While everyone seems to be enjoying the Holiday Season, you on the other hand are thinking, “How am I ever going to get this all done – I am a stress case!”

Ah, and we’ve found ourselves in the middle of our annual HIT challenge. You remember right? The Holiday Insanity Test – it started right before Thanksgiving and will haunt you straight through ‘til the week after New Year’s.

I’m here to remind you, “what you say is what you hear and what you hear is what you believe.” So, if you’re thinking about being stressed and miserable, you will be! This isn’t Halloween, so don’t be a wicked witch and you’re far too beautiful to be Bonita the Bah-Humbug babe. It’s the time of year to have fun, enjoy your loved ones and of course, for Christians – a time to celebrate the birth of Christ.

So, how can you transform this Season of Stress into Holiday Happiness and master the HIT? I will help you.

I’ve developed a simple plan – a perfect diet to eliminate stress, unhappiness and frustration. Just remember the Triple V Diet – Vitamins, Vodka & Valium.

Just kidding – it’s not the solution (but a little Vodka won’t hurt).

Stress-free Holiday living is simple if you follow the same guidelines you do to enjoy everyday life (I’ve even tossed in a few gift giving ideas as well!):

·        Create your goals – what will help YOU really ENJOY the holidays?

·        Get organized and create a plan. (Sound familiar)

·        Steal a page from the holiday’s best multi-tasker…Make a list and check it twice!

o       Is it a NEED or a WANT? Review the list and eliminate the unnecessary.

o       INSERT YOUR REALITY CHECK HERE – can you really accomplish everything on your list? Have you added in “fun” activities?

·        Abandon the Super Woman Syndrome. Look for shortcuts – give a gift from the heart – most people appreciate it more!

o       Instead of buying gifts for everyone in the family, suggest picking names and buying one more meaningful gift.

o       Instead of buying an expensive platter, spend a day with your family at a paint-your-own-pottery place and create the next family heirloom.

o       Volunteer your time to someone on your list with those “good for one” coupons. (Dog sitting, an organization or friend therapy session)

·        When you’re shopping, set a budget, stick to it and be creative!

o       A Movie Package – DVDs, Popcorn & Movie Tickets.

o       Online ½ price deals – Groupon, Radio ½ off Fridays, etc.

o       Free Shipping Offers – don't wait ‘til it’s too late!

·        Spend time having fun with your family.

o       Does it really matter what your Gingerbread House looks like if you all had fun making it?

For years it was a tradition in which my son Jamie and I made Gingerbread houses. Our frosting and window decorations were exquisite! Each year, our creations became more and more spectacular until one year; I rushed and “messed up” the frosting. Well, that’s the “glue” that holds the whole thing together – not this time. I grew more frustrated and annoyed with each decoration that fell off and as we watched things crumble one-by-one, Jamie and I burst out laughing. We don’t like to quit, so we tried another approach and used Elmer’s Glue. It was, of course, completely inedible, but one our prettiest ever! The best part about that year’s masterpiece is that, to this day, it still brings fond memories of joy and lots of laughter both of us. It’s probably one of our favorite Christmas stories.

So for my final piece of advice…don’t forget your holiday KISS

Keep It Simple Sweetie!

• Don’t redecorate the whole house – there’s no time.
• Don’t create false expectations – forget the losing 10 lbs by Christmas, laser hair removal joining the Peace Corps and becoming an Olympian – there’s no time!
• Christmas Dinner? Ask everyone to bring something they love or find a grocery market with a fully prepared meal for a reasonable price.
• Create a Gift Wrap Theme – make it simple and get it done! One year, I used the comic section of the paper and used bright ribbon.
• Hire yourself a college “elf” who needs money and will wrap (or run errands) for a great price!

Holiday Cheer comes with organization, discipline and a great plan (if you stick to it!) Come to think of it success in everything we do has those same three components. We women set the tone for the household – if you’re enjoying yourself, so too will everyone else. So, let’s make a pact to take a deep breathe and pass this year’s HIT with flying colors. And if you’re feeling overwhelmed, well there’s always that Vodka Martini!

Lip-gloss

Now I realize that lip-gloss is certainly not the most important thing in life. But like many other cosmetic items, it seems that lip-gloss continues to make statements that just aren’t true.

So many glosses guarantee that they will “last forever”.

So let me ask you, “Have you ever bought lip-gloss that actually lasted as long as it claims?

Bet I know your answer.

Every time I buy new lip-gloss, I say to myself “this is it! I’ve finally found the lip gloss that is going to last!” And in an hour, I’m re-applying. Fooled again.

What’s with all these “lip tools” now anyway? Plumper, stain, shine, and even diamonds? Why do I want diamonds on my lips? I much prefer those around my neck!

More importantly, why do I want to stain my lips? Like it’s not hard enough guessing which color will match my complexion, now I have to work up the courage to actually stain my lips? And then I have to pray that I’ve chosen the right color! And of course I could be wrong.  May not be right?

…No thanks.

And all this in pursuit of a lip-gloss that actually will last --but not be permanent.  No tattooing my lips. Nope, not my forte.

Shopping for lip-gloss, stain, shine, whatever you may call it, has taught me two things….

1. It’s not going to last 6 hours like they claim.
2. Who ever is doing the advertising for these companies – makes me believe that it will last…every time!

Now I want to know if perhaps you have found the perfect lip-gloss.  Or maybe you know the secret to having it last.  Let me know.

Thanksgiving

 

The “First Thanksgiving" – as we call it in America – was celebrated by the Pilgrims to thank God for guiding them safely to the New World. This celebration was said to have lasted three days – providing food for 13 pilgrims and 90 Native Americans.  We don’t really know if turkey was actually served…it’s believed that the feast consisted of fish, wild fowl (duck, geese, venison…possibly turkey), berries, fruit, corn, squash, pumpkin, barley and wheat. Isn’t it remarkable that the menu was very similar to today’s traditional faire? But enough with the history lesson.

Thanksgiving is a day of togetherness – family, friends and acquaintances join hands to celebrate shared love and kindness. Of course it’s about “eating too much,” but it’s much deeper than that. It’s about giving thanks, being grateful for all that we have, all that we are and all that we experience.

Last summer, my sisters and I met two young gals (ages 16 and 26) at a California hotel’s swimming pool. They were both beautiful! The elder of the two, Alexandra, had an infectious smile and no hair. Naturally, we started chatting and learned Alexandra had stage 4 brain cancer. Alexandra lived locally, but brought her sister to the hotel for an overnight stay to spend “one-on-one” time with her. They also have a 12-year-old sister – she too has cancer.

Can you imagine having 3 daughters – two with cancer, one of which didn’t have much time left with us?

We so enjoyed their company that we invited them to spend the day in our cabana with us. We reminded them to reapply sunscreen, and Alexandra joked, “Why what will happen – do you think I’ll get cancer?” They were reluctant to accept our lunch offer at first, but you simply don’t win a debate with my sisters and me. So, we shared the afternoon together with non-stop laughter.

The girls also joined us for dinner in the VIP lounge and I continued to learn more about Alexandra. Her father couldn’t cope with the stress of the cancer so he left. She had been fighting this disease for about 9 months – she received chemo in Houston, Texas and she told us with pride that her face adorned all the Cancer Center billboards throughout the state. That didn’t surprise me – she was as beautiful inside as she was outside and so positive on top of it all.

Alexandra is home now – she was in ICU for a month and these are her final days.   I’ve spoken to her many times. I knew my role for my two days with her in California and I wasn’t going to let one dismal moment pass. Since she kept telling me I should be a stand-up comic, I was going to make sure Alexandra laughed and talked about her future – I even taught her how to flirt!

My husband and I returned from our recent trip on Thursday to a simple email from Alexandra, “I just wanted to say hi and I miss you and love you!”

I love you, too, Alexandra. In just two short days, I fell in love with this brave young woman. 

Knowing Alexandra has changed my life forever – she is simply amazing. Absolutely incredible! I feel so blessed that God invited me into her life and for that, I shall be eternally grateful.

Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks – for our blessings and even for those times in life that make us sad. For without sadness in our lives, we haven’t experienced the joy of love and caring.

So this Thanksgiving, please make sure you tell everyone you love how thankful you are to have them in your life. You can rest assured I will.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you, I am most thankful for your friendship!

Miss Piggy

After more than 12 years hiatus, the Muppets are back on the big screen! Moi’s personal favorite is Miss Piggy – a glamorous gal with a love for all things fabulous…Diamonds, fur, great shoes and even her own little prince – Kermit!

In celebration of Miss Piggy's return to Hollywood and her pursuit of an Oscar, let’s learn from this leading lady and take a look at some of her best pearls of wisdom…

• There is only one gift you should accept on your first date – diamonds.
• If you're properly attired, you're hired. And if you're not, I don't care how “Qualified” you may be – it will be a case of “clothes, but no cigar.”
• Too much exercise can damage your health.
• I plan to write more books whenever I can find the appropriate writing attire and color-coordinated pen.
• Technology, Moi must admit, is not Moi's cup of java.
• The early bird gets the worm – which is what he deserves.
• Home décor is a matter of personal taste although ill-conceived suggestions from husbands may spoil the overall effect.
• Plants are like lamps. You plug them in and they turn right on. When they stop working, just unplug them, throw them away and plug in another.
• When there is something good on TV that everyone is going to watch, the other channels should be courteous and run something like “The History of Socks.”
• What if you were in Florida without your furs and there is a very quick little ice age?
• You have to be going to a pretty awful place if getting there is half the fun.
• Moi has always possessed a charm that is lethal to men.
• Moi speaks body language fluently, although with a slight French accent.
• Many people think money is something to be set aside for a rainy day. But honestly, how much money do you really need for a dozen or so hours of inclement weather?
• Who should ask whom out? As long as he’s paying, who cares?
• Only time can heal a broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.
• All my scenes are my own. A double? Impossible! I am unique.
• The Oscar – is that what they call it? – means nothing to me. After all, one does not labor to shape one's craft just for some tacky statuette that looks like a hood ornament from an old Desoto.
• There is the satisfaction of providing your public with a vision of true beautology, true sytlisity, - how can I put it? – True glamorositude.

And finally…

• There is no one on the planet to compare with moi.

Well said – in fact, I couldn’t have said it better Moi’self!

Good luck on your opening weekend – it’s nice to have you back where you belong…

Jamie

This should be an easy topic. After all, our son just turned forty. Having a child turn forty is seriously mind boggling.

In honor of his “Big Day,” I could talk about all Jamie’s great qualities, but those of you who don’t know him would just dismiss them as motherly love.

So, even though I think he is a fine young – and I can still say “young”- man, I won’t make this an hommage to Jamie…just a list of things you might not know about my son.

1. He was 9lb 10oz at birth.
2. His real name is Walter John Jamitkowski III.
3. As a boy, he was diagnosed with Reys Syndrome and almost died.
4. At 11 years old, he was chosen to be on Tom Bergeron’s show as the prefect student.
5. That same year, my husband and I were called into the Headmaster’s office because Jamie debated with the faculty about blaming the students for a prank pulled at a dance. Jamie had found his voice! The irony is that he was in Hawaii and never attended the dance. Why he deemed himself the spokes person, is still a mystery.
6. Jamie was a Boston Celtics Ball Boy for two years during the Bird, Ainge and McHale era. (You can still see him on TV during highlights of the best all time games – look for the kid with really curly bushy hair.)
7. During his undergraduate days at Ithaca he got a RE license, graduated from bartending school and was a Disc Jockey.
8. Jamie got a Master’s in Hospitality from Cornell and worked at the Mirage Hotel, Hilton Hawaii Village and Disney.
9. When he met his now wife Cheryl, he immediately knew she was “the one” for a plethora of reasons. For a short time, Cheryl thought Jamie was a drug dealer. Let her tell you that story
10. Jamie decided early on that he wanted to be 30 when he married and that is exactly the age he married Cheryl.
11. Jamie also became President of UndercoverWear that same year. He has successfully introduced new concepts and programs, making us very proud.
12. Jamie owns a pro wrestling school and hosts wrestling shows throughout the year.
13. Jamie is a fabulous son, great husband and a phenomenal Dad.

The Boston Red Sox

Have you heard Major League Baseball is considering banning drinking in the clubhouse and dugout because of the bad behavior of the Boston Red Sox?

Reports of two pitchers (both, not scheduled to pitch that evening) left the dugout during a game, filled their cups with Bud Light in the clubhouse and returned to the dugout to watch the game drinking beer. One Sox employee told the media that the pitchers were “bored” on off nights and this is how they entertained themselves.

Can you believe they were drinking during a game…and in the dugout of all places?!

If it’s true – and it has been denied – I’m perplexed on so many levels…

1)      The Players – You may have not been scheduled to pitch, but you were at work. If Terry Francona (the manager) needed them, they would be expected to do their job! Based what we know about the effects of alcohol, I think even a glass or two of beer might slightly diminish the sharpness of their skills. Oh yeah, last I heard, you’re not supposed to drink on the job!

2)      Francona, the Manager – what the Hell was he thinking? Reports say he knew what was going on. He should have put a stop to it. I don’t care if it’s your best pitcher…if he drinks on the job, he’s out of the lineup! That’s right, suspend him.

3)      The owners – Did they accept the “tradition?” Look, I’ve been to Fenway Park, seated in a box next to the owners, in fact. They certainly have a clear picture of what’s going on. How do you own a team and allow this type of childish behavior?

I really try to avoid being judgmental, but in this case, sorry, there’s fault all around the Red Sox organization. “Boys will be boys,” but these men are professional athletes, not college frat boys! Someone should’ve been watching and stopped the nonsense.

Look, I manage a multi-million dollar company (from Hawaii for most of the year). I have an incredibly qualified management team including my own son, but trust me – I know exactly what is going on at UndercoverWear every day.   As the owner, it’s my responsibility to stay in touch with the corporate team and I do so with a “hands on” approach. As my son will tell you, when I don’t like what’s going on, he’s the first to hear about it. 

So, in my opinion the Red Sox made 5 fatal business mistakes:

1)     A losing season. When you win in business, you can often overlook mistakes. The Sox entered into September with the best record in the American League, but they lost 20 out of 27 games that month. They were still one out away from the playoffs and blew that one too! The worst Red Sox season since WWII. So, Francona is gone – the drinking was just the head on the beer!

2)     The owners and front office forgot an important lesson – everyone on a team must stay focused on winning…any diversions bring you one step closer to failure.

3)     No member of a team is bigger or better than the whole. To allow the “ stars” special privileges, is absolutely absurd. They should be leaders, not renegades. Remember, “When you give them an inch, they take a yard?!” Oops!

4)     The Owners didn’t have the right people in the right places. Where was the pitching staff, Francona, the other coaches or even the teammates?

5)     They forgot the basics of functioning in a work environment. The players lost respect and saw themselves as mere athletes, not employees with a job to do. Dumb.

So, now the Red Sox may have ruined it for the rest of the League. All Clubhouse drinking could be banned – including the “celebration” drinking when you achieve a milestone – as a well functioning TEAM. Instead of simply solving the misconduct of the Red Sox hi-jinks, MLB is going to take this to the extreme.

The problem is very simple – most major league team owners/managers are men. Now, let me finish – men are great. Many are fabulous dads who like to play sports and encourage their children. But let’s face it, on a day-to-day basis, it’s we moms that keep the team together. MOMS set the boundaries and enforce the rules – we set the standards and hold the team accountable. MOMS make sure the children behave properly and take action when they don’t.

So, Boston Red Sox, you need MORE MOMS! Better yet, what you need is ME – I am a mom and a pretty successful businesswoman.  Plus, I love baseball. 

So gentlemen, while you may think of me as that “Charming lingerie lady,” UndercoverWear is a big business and it looks like you need a lady leading your team. Those boys would be drinking milk and eating chocolate chip cookies.  Give me a call, I’d be happy to consult.

A Unique Love Story

I was recently asked by UndercoverWear’s Public Relations Director to write a blurb about how I met my husband and why our love story is so “unique.”

Well, I burst out laughing and I’m still laughing! What’s so unique – where do I begin?

Let’s start with how we met…

Walter was my sisters’ guitar teacher. He was way too serious for me (then 18 years old) and I liked the other guitar teacher better – the cute one. Every Monday, I’d take my sisters to their lesson, hoping the cute guitar teacher would ask me out. Instead, Walter did. What a dilemma! My mom convinced me to go, “Oh go – it’s a free meal,” she said.

One free meal turned into 41 years!

We dated for five months and Walter entered the Army. I knew right away that we’d get married, but he didn’t. There was training, then Vietnam. Maybe it was his amazing adoration of me (or the fact that he was going off to war), but he proposed. I was suddenly engaged.

Walter returned from Vietnam and we were married 30 days later – a big Italian Greek Wedding. From that day on, we’ve lived, worked and played together – every day!

Over the years, we’ve had a wild ride. We got married, lost everything (financially) twice, nearly lost our son to Reyes Syndrome, built an incredibly successful business, traveled around the world several times, owned many homes (President Regan even stayed at one of them), we’ve been through a plethora of really good times and been through almost as many really bad times.

What’s kept us together?  Love? Did we really love each other when we married?  How well did we really even know each other? 

Was it commitment? Did we stay together for our son? Was it our religious beliefs? I’m sure those factored in during difficult times, but neither of us would ever do anything to hurt our son. I guess we loved our son more than we hated each other.

So, was it luck? Nah – I’m not a believer in that concept.

After 23 years of marriage, we decided to renew our vows.

This time it was different. I was far more nervous. I was no longer the 21-year-old living her “dream wedding.” Instead, I stood before Walter knowing that I wanted to take my last breath with him. 

From that moment on, all the “small stuff” that once caused “debates” disappeared…the power struggles dissipated… the ego of “what I bring to the relationship” evaporated.

For Walter and me – it’s not “I,” it’s “we.” It’s not my house, my son or my business – it’s all OURs.

I’ve learned the secret of a successful marriage. My only goal is to keep Walter happy. When he’s happy, I’m happy too! When he’s miserable, trust me – he makes me incredibly miserable…and then we both laugh.

Laughter, sharing, love, caring, respect & admiration play a huge part in a successful marriage. Understanding what works for the two of you – as a couple – because it’s not the same for everyone. Overlook one another’s faults. Perhaps never really accept those faults, but overlook them. Take time for one another. Walter is my first priority and I am his.

Give in on things that don’t matter – who cares what show you watch! I watch Discovery with Walter and he watches Grey’s Anatomy with me. The key is that we have so many TVs in our home, yet we don’t disappear to watch our shows – we’d rather be together. Remember, it’s “WE” no “ME.”

Of course, we have great sex. Someone once said, “You can have a lousy marriage and great sex, but you can’t have a great marriage and lousy sex.”

This blog has become a book and I haven’t even talked about the “ying and yang” part of our relationship, or the compatibility factors, or the “Don’t argue when you are REALLY annoyed” lesson…

There’s no simply way to describe how we’ve made it work. We’ve been married 15,025 days! Let’s see, if I learned a lesson each week, that’s over 2000 lessons in how to be a better person and wife!

Forty-one years and counting – I guess I’ve done OK!

Six Degrees (Part III)

Six Degrees (part 3)

So, we’re getting even closer! My sister found out that James Gandolfini frequents Strega – one of Boston’s Italian restaurants. His photos are all over the walls!

So, I asked my son if he knew of the restaurant and evidently, we’ve all been there with UndercoverWear’s controller, Marc Gucciardi – who is good friends with the owner.  

Here we go - we own UndercoverWear…Marc works at UndercoverWear…Marc knows the owner of Strega…the owner knows James Gandolfini…and do you remember? James Gandolfini is my new friend Ruth’s son-in-law!

Needless to say, I think I’ve proven the “six degrees” theory. Except, I haven’t figured out how Teresa is going to fit into all of this…

If I were to change goals, I suppose I might decide to encourage, Mr. Gandolfini’s wife, Deborah Lin, to book an UndercoverWear Show – complete with our intimacy boutique. Then again, I’m not one to admit defeat and change direction. Not yet! I have to exhaust all possible avenues to reach my goal – which is to book a show with Teresa!

Let’s review the goal – to invite, Teresa and the other Housewives of New Jersey, to experience an UndercoverWear, Girls Night Out.

Cross your fingers and please throw it out into the Universe. (A Facebook Share or Tweet couldn’t hurt either!)  I know this is going to happen!