Miss Piggy

After more than 12 years hiatus, the Muppets are back on the big screen! Moi’s personal favorite is Miss Piggy – a glamorous gal with a love for all things fabulous…Diamonds, fur, great shoes and even her own little prince – Kermit!

In celebration of Miss Piggy's return to Hollywood and her pursuit of an Oscar, let’s learn from this leading lady and take a look at some of her best pearls of wisdom…

• There is only one gift you should accept on your first date – diamonds.
• If you're properly attired, you're hired. And if you're not, I don't care how “Qualified” you may be – it will be a case of “clothes, but no cigar.”
• Too much exercise can damage your health.
• I plan to write more books whenever I can find the appropriate writing attire and color-coordinated pen.
• Technology, Moi must admit, is not Moi's cup of java.
• The early bird gets the worm – which is what he deserves.
• Home décor is a matter of personal taste although ill-conceived suggestions from husbands may spoil the overall effect.
• Plants are like lamps. You plug them in and they turn right on. When they stop working, just unplug them, throw them away and plug in another.
• When there is something good on TV that everyone is going to watch, the other channels should be courteous and run something like “The History of Socks.”
• What if you were in Florida without your furs and there is a very quick little ice age?
• You have to be going to a pretty awful place if getting there is half the fun.
• Moi has always possessed a charm that is lethal to men.
• Moi speaks body language fluently, although with a slight French accent.
• Many people think money is something to be set aside for a rainy day. But honestly, how much money do you really need for a dozen or so hours of inclement weather?
• Who should ask whom out? As long as he’s paying, who cares?
• Only time can heal a broken heart, just as only time can heal his broken arms and legs.
• All my scenes are my own. A double? Impossible! I am unique.
• The Oscar – is that what they call it? – means nothing to me. After all, one does not labor to shape one's craft just for some tacky statuette that looks like a hood ornament from an old Desoto.
• There is the satisfaction of providing your public with a vision of true beautology, true sytlisity, - how can I put it? – True glamorositude.

And finally…

• There is no one on the planet to compare with moi.

Well said – in fact, I couldn’t have said it better Moi’self!

Good luck on your opening weekend – it’s nice to have you back where you belong…