A Unique Love Story

I was recently asked by UndercoverWear’s Public Relations Director to write a blurb about how I met my husband and why our love story is so “unique.”

Well, I burst out laughing and I’m still laughing! What’s so unique – where do I begin?

Let’s start with how we met…

Walter was my sisters’ guitar teacher. He was way too serious for me (then 18 years old) and I liked the other guitar teacher better – the cute one. Every Monday, I’d take my sisters to their lesson, hoping the cute guitar teacher would ask me out. Instead, Walter did. What a dilemma! My mom convinced me to go, “Oh go – it’s a free meal,” she said.

One free meal turned into 41 years!

We dated for five months and Walter entered the Army. I knew right away that we’d get married, but he didn’t. There was training, then Vietnam. Maybe it was his amazing adoration of me (or the fact that he was going off to war), but he proposed. I was suddenly engaged.

Walter returned from Vietnam and we were married 30 days later – a big Italian Greek Wedding. From that day on, we’ve lived, worked and played together – every day!

Over the years, we’ve had a wild ride. We got married, lost everything (financially) twice, nearly lost our son to Reyes Syndrome, built an incredibly successful business, traveled around the world several times, owned many homes (President Regan even stayed at one of them), we’ve been through a plethora of really good times and been through almost as many really bad times.

What’s kept us together?  Love? Did we really love each other when we married?  How well did we really even know each other? 

Was it commitment? Did we stay together for our son? Was it our religious beliefs? I’m sure those factored in during difficult times, but neither of us would ever do anything to hurt our son. I guess we loved our son more than we hated each other.

So, was it luck? Nah – I’m not a believer in that concept.

After 23 years of marriage, we decided to renew our vows.

This time it was different. I was far more nervous. I was no longer the 21-year-old living her “dream wedding.” Instead, I stood before Walter knowing that I wanted to take my last breath with him. 

From that moment on, all the “small stuff” that once caused “debates” disappeared…the power struggles dissipated… the ego of “what I bring to the relationship” evaporated.

For Walter and me – it’s not “I,” it’s “we.” It’s not my house, my son or my business – it’s all OURs.

I’ve learned the secret of a successful marriage. My only goal is to keep Walter happy. When he’s happy, I’m happy too! When he’s miserable, trust me – he makes me incredibly miserable…and then we both laugh.

Laughter, sharing, love, caring, respect & admiration play a huge part in a successful marriage. Understanding what works for the two of you – as a couple – because it’s not the same for everyone. Overlook one another’s faults. Perhaps never really accept those faults, but overlook them. Take time for one another. Walter is my first priority and I am his.

Give in on things that don’t matter – who cares what show you watch! I watch Discovery with Walter and he watches Grey’s Anatomy with me. The key is that we have so many TVs in our home, yet we don’t disappear to watch our shows – we’d rather be together. Remember, it’s “WE” no “ME.”

Of course, we have great sex. Someone once said, “You can have a lousy marriage and great sex, but you can’t have a great marriage and lousy sex.”

This blog has become a book and I haven’t even talked about the “ying and yang” part of our relationship, or the compatibility factors, or the “Don’t argue when you are REALLY annoyed” lesson…

There’s no simply way to describe how we’ve made it work. We’ve been married 15,025 days! Let’s see, if I learned a lesson each week, that’s over 2000 lessons in how to be a better person and wife!

Forty-one years and counting – I guess I’ve done OK!