Sadness

Life is always interesting.  I’ve decided that the more we love, the more we tend to feel sadness.  The last couple of weeks have been incredibly difficult for me. You see I have a cousin who many of you know --Kris Costello. For those of you that don’t know Kris --let me give you both the personal and UndercoverWear relationship.

My Mother Niccie had one sister, Helen.  They were incredibly close.

In fact, growing up we shared the same yard. My Aunt Helen, was a “divorcee” (unheard of back then) and the “Auntie Mame” of our family.  She ran away and married the family chauffer at 15, had 4 children, and then dumped him.  Afterwards, she fell in love with the most eligible bachelor in the city who was also handsome and debonair. Unfortunately, he was also very Catholic and his bother was a Pastor of the largest Catholic Church in the area.  Plus,  “Mama” Casey would have been appalled at Dan Casey marrying a divorced woman. So my Aunt Helen just “waited it out” and ultimately married “Uncle Danny”.

My parents lived with my Grandmother Christina on the second floor of a two family house.   Because Auntie Helen’s ex husband really had nothing to do with the 4 kids (reasons are still controversial), my cousins were always with us, particularly, my cousin Kris.  She took vacations with us, had dinner with us and spent more time with my parents than her own. More importantly, my parents absolutely adored her!

 Kris met Mike when working at Raytheon. Kris had just been voted “Ms. Raytheon” and Michael fell in love with her the moment he met her.  For him, it was love at first sight.  Not so much for Kris. (Again, another long story). But Michael had enough love for both of them. So he proposed and they married.  Yes, of course I was in the wedding.

Let’s fast forward to UndercoverWear. 

As many of you know, about three years into the business, Jamie got Reyes Syndrome.  They told us he would not live the night.  Through the grace of God, they were wrong.  But suffice to say, after the critical part was over, I was a wreck!

My Mother was working for Ralph Lauren as Office Manager.  In order to help UndercoverWear, and myself, she took a three month leave of absence.  That three months, turned into almost thirty years.  And based on the fact that my Mother had a huge staff previously, one by one, they joined UndercoverWear -- My Aunt Helen, my cousin Kris, my cousin Alison, Jane Nicolosi, and Kris’s Husband Michael.

Now if you are with UndercoverWear, you know Kris and Mike.  They’ve been on almost all the trips--Bangkok, Rome, Greece, Hawaii, Rio, and Hong Kong.  You also know them from Rendezvous.  You know the Fashion Show and those gorgeous centerpieces at every event? That was Kris.

Kris and Mike are simply the nicest, sweetest two people you could ever meet.  And they were incredibly wonderful to both my parents.  In fact, in some ways, they did more for my parents than my sisters and I did!  They cherished their time together.

But as M. Scott Peck said, “Life is not easy.”  And their life has certainly had its share of difficulties.  But this one beats them all. 

Michael is dying.

There, I’ve said it. The day and the time are uncertain (as it is for all of us), but I can pretty much assure you it’s not in the distant future.

While my reaction is equal in importance to a sliver of grass in the scope of the universe, I’d like to share it anyway.

First, I do not prescribe to any type of "depression".  I just don't embrace it.  When I am faced with difficult situations, being a "Cancer -- the Crab," I simply go into my little shell and my "oneness".  I become very introspective and frankly rather "anti-social".  Yep, you can check with WJJ, I don't do a lot of talking when I get like that.  I have nothing to say, and no way to fix anything. Boy that’s tough for someone like me.

Don’t be confused, I have spent several hours a day, talking to Kris, her daughter Lea, my sister Charlene (Professor of Nursing and Nurse Practitioner, who has been so immensely helpful I cannot tell you.)

But I’m sad.  Really sad.  Sure, I’ve been through life and death situations before, but this one has really resonated for me.  I’m sad for Mike, I’m sad for Kris and I’m sad for all of us who love so deeply and then are compelled to say “Goodbye”.

Jamie has been giving me a dose of my own advice.  I really hate that.  Using my own damn words against me.  I get it.  The whole, circle of life crap.  The whole, enjoy life stuff.  Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I got it. I give it and I get it.

But I’ve got to tell you--this one is tough for me.

So my friends, as WJJ and I head back to Boston to say our farewells, I owe you one.  When I lecture you on handling “life”, you have my permission to remind me--sometimes I don’t do such a great job.