Remembering Michael Costello

As most of you know by now, Michael passed away last week.  Needless to say, it was an extremely sad and emotional time for all of us.  While I know how trite this will sound, these situations should reinforce that we must live life to the fullest.

While several of my blogs have been riddled with sadness, this one will not in any way provoke that emotion.  In fact, this is my “joyous” blog.   There were so many amazing parts of Michael’s passing.  We witnessed miracles, families reunited, and forgiveness given.  We experienced the joy of listening to all the wonderful tributes paid to Michael.

The overwhelming words to describe Michael were consistent.  He was a “gentle man” who never said an unkind word about anyone.  He was a fair, just man.  He had a tremendous love for his wife Kris and his family. He was a great leader for his UndercoverWear team.  Yes, Michael was indeed a precious gift – one of a kind.

Of course, it made me ponder about my life.  What will my legacy be? 

Of course, I am very proud of Jamie. That goes without saying.  And certainly, I have contributed to the success of UndercoverWear.   The “glitz and glamour” of UndercoverWear has always been fun for me.  But that has never been my “driving force” in UndercoverWear or in life.  I truly believe I was put on this Earth to help woman create a better life.  It’s that simple.  I also hope that I have been able to offer a shoulder to cry on, a hand to walk with, and a quiet strength when needed.  I know I have been a good daughter, wife and mother.  I hope I have been a good friend and mentor.  I hope I have given myself in abundance.  I hope that I have shared as much as I have received.  I hope that those who felt “wronged” have forgiven me.  I hope that those who love me know that I love them in return.  I hope that I can live the rest of my life with humility, grace, and of course elegance.

I had the pleasure of being with Michael before he died.  I had the joy of hearing all the wonderful words shared about his life. And I will take that tiny part of his legacy and hopefully make it part of my own.  Thank you Michael for this final gift.

Monopoly

I have finally figured out when the Country’s financial crisis started.  Oh, you can blame Greenspan or OPEC or Bush or Obama. Of course the Housing Market was a real problem. Surely we can all agree that so many people were stuck with overpriced and under valued real estate.

So whose fault is it?

OK I’ll tell you.  It’s Parker Brothers. You know the manufacturers of Monopoly.

Think about it, didn’t we all play Monopoly as children.   And we realized very quickly, that we wanted EVERYTHING!  WE WANTED ALL THE PROPERTY AND ALL THE MONEY!!!

We wanted St. Charles Place. We wanted Atlantic Avenue. We even wanted low rent property like Baltic Avenue.  But we definitely wanted the high rent properties like Park Place and the crème de la crème Boardwalk.

But did we stop there?  Oh no, we needed MORE.

We wanted the utility companies; the railroads and then we needed houses on our properties.  And finally we absolutely had to have HOTELS!! Those little red devils placed strategically all over our properties across the board made us breathe orgasmically.

So, I figured it out. Not our fault.  We are simply latent ‘Monopolizers”.  As I see it, we have every legal right to take legal action against Parker Brothers for a variety of reasons:

1.      Non-disclosure of the facts.  They didn’t tell us that when you buy real estate you actually have interest rates and taxes etc.

2.      False Advertising.  Their banker looked so warm, kind and friendly.   Well actually they usually are like that --when you DON’T NEED MONEY! Banks are modern day “Jekyll and Hyde’s”.  When you don’t need them their wonderful--when you do need them - “not so much”.

3.      Dishonest Business Practices--Their property never lost its value.

Now I know you’ll agree.  It’s about time someone else paid for our mistakes. My vote is, “We SUE!”  And if that doesn’t work, so what?  We can all . . .

Go directly to jail

Do not pass Go

Do not collect $200!

Sadness

Life is always interesting.  I’ve decided that the more we love, the more we tend to feel sadness.  The last couple of weeks have been incredibly difficult for me. You see I have a cousin who many of you know --Kris Costello. For those of you that don’t know Kris --let me give you both the personal and UndercoverWear relationship.

My Mother Niccie had one sister, Helen.  They were incredibly close.

In fact, growing up we shared the same yard. My Aunt Helen, was a “divorcee” (unheard of back then) and the “Auntie Mame” of our family.  She ran away and married the family chauffer at 15, had 4 children, and then dumped him.  Afterwards, she fell in love with the most eligible bachelor in the city who was also handsome and debonair. Unfortunately, he was also very Catholic and his bother was a Pastor of the largest Catholic Church in the area.  Plus,  “Mama” Casey would have been appalled at Dan Casey marrying a divorced woman. So my Aunt Helen just “waited it out” and ultimately married “Uncle Danny”.

My parents lived with my Grandmother Christina on the second floor of a two family house.   Because Auntie Helen’s ex husband really had nothing to do with the 4 kids (reasons are still controversial), my cousins were always with us, particularly, my cousin Kris.  She took vacations with us, had dinner with us and spent more time with my parents than her own. More importantly, my parents absolutely adored her!

 Kris met Mike when working at Raytheon. Kris had just been voted “Ms. Raytheon” and Michael fell in love with her the moment he met her.  For him, it was love at first sight.  Not so much for Kris. (Again, another long story). But Michael had enough love for both of them. So he proposed and they married.  Yes, of course I was in the wedding.

Let’s fast forward to UndercoverWear. 

As many of you know, about three years into the business, Jamie got Reyes Syndrome.  They told us he would not live the night.  Through the grace of God, they were wrong.  But suffice to say, after the critical part was over, I was a wreck!

My Mother was working for Ralph Lauren as Office Manager.  In order to help UndercoverWear, and myself, she took a three month leave of absence.  That three months, turned into almost thirty years.  And based on the fact that my Mother had a huge staff previously, one by one, they joined UndercoverWear -- My Aunt Helen, my cousin Kris, my cousin Alison, Jane Nicolosi, and Kris’s Husband Michael.

Now if you are with UndercoverWear, you know Kris and Mike.  They’ve been on almost all the trips--Bangkok, Rome, Greece, Hawaii, Rio, and Hong Kong.  You also know them from Rendezvous.  You know the Fashion Show and those gorgeous centerpieces at every event? That was Kris.

Kris and Mike are simply the nicest, sweetest two people you could ever meet.  And they were incredibly wonderful to both my parents.  In fact, in some ways, they did more for my parents than my sisters and I did!  They cherished their time together.

But as M. Scott Peck said, “Life is not easy.”  And their life has certainly had its share of difficulties.  But this one beats them all. 

Michael is dying.

There, I’ve said it. The day and the time are uncertain (as it is for all of us), but I can pretty much assure you it’s not in the distant future.

While my reaction is equal in importance to a sliver of grass in the scope of the universe, I’d like to share it anyway.

First, I do not prescribe to any type of "depression".  I just don't embrace it.  When I am faced with difficult situations, being a "Cancer -- the Crab," I simply go into my little shell and my "oneness".  I become very introspective and frankly rather "anti-social".  Yep, you can check with WJJ, I don't do a lot of talking when I get like that.  I have nothing to say, and no way to fix anything. Boy that’s tough for someone like me.

Don’t be confused, I have spent several hours a day, talking to Kris, her daughter Lea, my sister Charlene (Professor of Nursing and Nurse Practitioner, who has been so immensely helpful I cannot tell you.)

But I’m sad.  Really sad.  Sure, I’ve been through life and death situations before, but this one has really resonated for me.  I’m sad for Mike, I’m sad for Kris and I’m sad for all of us who love so deeply and then are compelled to say “Goodbye”.

Jamie has been giving me a dose of my own advice.  I really hate that.  Using my own damn words against me.  I get it.  The whole, circle of life crap.  The whole, enjoy life stuff.  Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, I got it. I give it and I get it.

But I’ve got to tell you--this one is tough for me.

So my friends, as WJJ and I head back to Boston to say our farewells, I owe you one.  When I lecture you on handling “life”, you have my permission to remind me--sometimes I don’t do such a great job.

TUI!



What is “TUI”?

Tiffany’s Useless Information.  

I love sharing information that I find fascinating, which many of you may find completely boring.  So let me know what you think of this blog. 

Here goes…

As many of you know, my “drink of choice” is a vodka martini -- shaken not stirred.  Ahh love that James Bond Stuff.   You know in UndercoverWear, WJJ is Agent “007” and I’m Agent “001!”

My favorite vodka is Grey Goose. 

Now here we go with all my TUI!  Most of you know that Grey Goose is made in France. But did you know that it was actually developed by an American named Sidney Frank? In the 80’s he obtained importing rights to Jagermeister and promoted it, heavily! Advertising it as the best drink in the world. Subsequently, it turned a specialty brand, into a mainstream success.  In 1997, he introduced Grey Goose Vodka and marketed it primarily in the USA.  He created the brand in order to compete with the Polish vodka Belvedere, but geared the marketing to America.   He promoted and marketed Grey Goose so well that in just 7 years, he was able to sell the brand to Bacardi in June 2004 for 2 BILLION DOLLARS!!

Who say’s marketing isn’t important?!

Another vodka that I love is Kirkland.  I was told it was the same as Grey Goose, so of course, I researched that as well. Both vodkas are made in the Cognac region of France. Both Kirkland and Grey Goose are made in Cognac with distillation techniques sourced from the neighboring Cognac houses. The vodkas are five times distilled in a state of the art distillery. Both are made from 100% fine French wheat.

Vodka can be made out of many things like wheat, rye, potatoes, grapes and many other things. Both use pure artesian spring water, originating in the Massif Mountains of France. This water flows into cognac after being filtered naturally through champagne limestone leaving it rich in minerals and flavor.  While the processes are almost identical, there seems to be a slight difference in taste. (But only a true vodka aficionado can differentiate.)  Plus Kirkland is far less expensive than Grey Goose.  Although I couldn’t find verification anywhere, could it be that Kirkland is indeed made by Grey Goose? Obviously they don’t want that “secret” out.  See, they don’t call me Agent 001 for nothing!

Now my third vodka that I really enjoy may surprise you.  It is relatively new and made in Minnesota!  It is called Opulent and it very well may be my new favorite vodka.  It is made out of wheat and it too is distilled five times.  Check out their website --very interesting. 

OK just a few more to go!

Skyy Vodka boasts it has the fewest impurities , it’s made in the US out of “winter wheat” …whatever that is.

Stoli Gold is by far the smoothest, made in Russia out of wheat.

And both Chopin and Belvedere are considered the truest vodkas, perhaps because the word vodka was first recorded in Poland.  Plus as a western block country, Poland is part of the “vodka block”.

…By the way Chopin is made from potatoes, while Belvedere is made from Rye. 

And finally, the vodka that I personally dislike the most is Ciroc, which is made from grapes in France.

Well by now, you are all either totally bored or you have poured yourself a vodka martini!

Donald Trump for President

Have you been listening to any of Donald Trump’s interviews?  Look, I don’t really think he would ever get elected, but having said that, I’ve got to say, his message is pretty simple.  Let’s put America back into its Leadership role.

In UndercoverWear, I have a saying.  “He who pays, controls”.  For example, if UndercoverWear corporate is paying for a meeting in a specific area, then UndercoverWear pretty much dictates the guidelines.  If a Divisional Leader is paying and invites a Corporate Speaker, then the Leader dictates the guidelines.

The same philosophy takes place socially.  If we are invited to dinner, our hosts decided the restaurant, the wine etc.  Even if our host asks us to choose the wine, we always choose a moderately priced wine, why? Because we’re not paying.

If the host prefers white wine, we acquiesce.  Why?  Because he who pays, controls.

In the United States, we seem to have abandoned that philosophy.  We are paying so much and controlling so little.

Trump said 2 things that really made me listen.

1.      The United States is paying to build China and the OPEC countries.  While they grow, our debt increases.

2.      We should take care of our citizen’s first --not other countries.

While many have said that Mr. Trump sounds like a “bully”, it’s pretty clear to me that being Mr. Rodgers in a world full or Rambo’s doesn’t work.   What really frosts my cookies is when so many Hollywood movie stars denounce our country.  Has it occurred to anyone that:

A.     This is where they made their money.

B.     If they don’t like it here --move!!!!!

WJJ and I have traveled literally around the world.  Some of my favorite destinations are: 

1.      Italy

2.      Egypt

3.      Istanbul

4.      Vienna

5.      Monte Carlo

6.      New Zealand

Having said that, I wouldn’t want to live in any other Country.  The degree of every day luxuries we have here, as compared to other places, is remarkable.  The extent of our Freedom is extraordinary.   We protect criminals, aliens, foreigners and of course the rights of every American citizen.

As I said earlier, I don’t know if Donald Trump has a shot in Hell of becoming President. Despite the fact that he is enormously successful in business and I believe can turn this Country around economically, I’m not sure I would vote for him.

Jury is still out.

But, I will say, it was truly refreshing for me to hear someone say, Hey world --get a clue --we protect you --we help you financially --and we deserve and expect some --

RESPECT!!!

So that’s my political statement of the day.  What say you?

Viva Las Vegas Part II

As you recall, my trip to Las Vegas got off to a rocky start.  But fear not.  My girlfriend Terri and I were headed to see the Men of Chippendales.  UndercoverWear collaborated with Chippendales to create six lingerie pieces and five “lotions and potions” for both the UndercoverWear line and the Chippendales Boutique.

Of course, I got “extra special” treatment and we got front row seats.  God those men are gorgeous!  My favorite was Sean Thomas with his perfectly chiseled body and those dreadlocks.  I know many of my UndercoverWear Agents love Jace he is fabulous as well.  But Sean was like deep dark chocolate ice cream to my palate!  Yummy!

The night was delightful, and then Terri and I decided that they had whetted our appetites.  We decided to go for a little pasta and some red wine. 

Around 11:00 PM I arrived back to our hotel room.  Jason had sent up flowers and champagne with a lovely note of apology.  Good job Jason!

WJJ was waiting for me and we started chatting.  All of a sudden, I felt really ill.  For a moment I wondered if I had somehow drank too much.  Can’t be.  I was perfectly coherent and had only one martini and some wine in over six hours.  But I really felt like I was going to be ill. 

And I was.

As I finished my rather nasty vomiting, I proceed to faint, because I have low blood pressure. I hit my hand, broke my fingernail, l and badly bruised my finger and arm. 

This was not going to be a good night. 

Next came the chills, the heat wave, and more vomiting.  WJJ was there with me taking really good care of me -- until. . .

He got sick.  Same condition.  At first we thought it was food poisoning, but we hadn’t had the same food. It was the dreaded virus.

Saturday was pretty much the same.  Once again, Jason Arnold, the Prestige Assistant Manager came to our rescue bringing us cold water, coke and ginger ale.  This young man will undoubtedly get ahead in the “people business.”

WJJ and I remained in bed all day attempting to keep down water or ginger ale.  We had fabulous Barry Manilow tickets for 7 PM.  Somehow we both mustered the energy to get dressed and go to the performance.  Barry Manilow was excellent, but we left the moment it ended.  We had not eaten a morsel of food all day and frankly my bed was calling me. 

Sunday WJJ and I had booked a helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon.  I had done it with my friend Sue many years ago, but WJJ had never experienced it.  I was still way too ill to even contemplate going.  So instead, WJJ took Bob with him, while I remained sick in bed. 

Day two of no food and no desire to even attempt to eat.

At one point, I called Room Service for a bowl of Miso soup broth --nothing else.  I explained my situation, no food for two days and asked how long it would take.  She said about 30 - 35 minutes.  I asked if they could rush it, after all it was only a bowl of broth.  In a perfunctory manner, she said, “I’ll see what I can do.” One hour later, I called again and asked where my broth was.  It took literally one hour and fifteen minutes to get the soup.  By that time, my sense of trying to put some food into my stomach had left.  I should have called Jason.  He would have gotten the soup in ten minutes. 

During this time, Jamie, Cheryl and my sisters kept calling and asking, “what can we do?”  And they continually said, “I feel so badly for you.” Frankly, I too felt rather badly for me and I still physically felt miserable.  

Then I started thinking (as only I can do).  By now you all know, my mantra ---“there’s life and death & everything else.”

On the same day, I found out my nieces little daughter is having some genetic testing.  I also found out that my cousin’s husband (both worked at UndercoverWear for many years, who has cancer is declining very quickly).  Yes, I had the flu.  Yes I was sick.  Yes I felt “yucky”.  So what?  BFD!  If that’s all I had to deal with, again I say BFD!

By Monday, I was able to get out of bed and go to the Lingerie Show.  I ate a very sparse lunch.  Monday evening WJJ and I attended the Cirque Du Soleil performance of Zumanity.  We had front row seats on a sofa thanks to a friend of mine who heads their Marketing Department. While it is a very sensual performance, based on my background in UndercoverWear, I, unlike others, did not gasp when two men kissed.  Well, maybe it has less to do with my business and more to do with my friendship with Dan O’Connell, who has given me a sensory education on gay men.  So, there was no blushing from me.

Afterwards, WJJ and I found a lovely little quiet lounge at the hotel in the Morel Restaurant.  Finding something quiet in Las Vegas is no easy task, but somehow we just lucked upon it.

On Tuesday we had made reservations for Joel Boucheron’s famous restaurant.  You can have anywhere from four to sixteen courses.  Unfortunately, there was no way we were ready to dine so elaborately.  Instead we went back to Morel’s and had a perfect dining experience.  Of course, I must admit as much as I enjoy all of our friendships, I most enjoy spending time with WJJ --alone!

So Las Vegas may not have been perfect --but you all know, I think perfection is overrated and over anticipated.  If I hadn’t been so sick, I probably would not have enjoyed my quiet time nearly as much.  Plus I got to meet Jason Arnold, a very competent young man.  You all know how much I appreciate good service! Oh yes, you can be sure that the Palazzo will be getting a “good news-bad news” letter from me.

The best part of my “story” is, WJJ wants to go back to Vegas this fall, just the two of us, for another little getaway.  I was going to say “honeymoon” but based on what you just read, I can assure you that any Bedroom Magic items that might have been packed for this trip, we never even considered.  It was no honeymoon. But it was a “for better for worse” week!

More good news ----I get to try all by Bedroom Magic items this week.  Wahoo!!!!!

Viva Las Vegas Part I

I’m sure you have all heard the Las Vegas ad campaign, “What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas!” Personally, I think it should have been “What Plays in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”  Isn’t that much more clever?  WJJ says, “What stays in Vegas, is your money.”

Anyway, WJJ and I just returned from a week there, partly pleasure and partly business.  We arrived last Wednesday evening at 11:00 PM.  My first indication of the trip was that our three bags of luggage were literally the last three to arrive on the carousel.

There’s a whole long story about the hotel.  I thought we were staying at the Venetian.  As it turned out, we were staying at the Palazzo, which is the sister hotel of the Venetian.  I thought we had a suite with a separate dining room and living room.  We did have a one-bedroom, two-bathroom (the key to a successful marriage) suite that had a separate living room/dining room table with three seats.  So, needless to say, it was not exactly what I had anticipated. 

Upon arrival to the hotel, according to “the brochure”, we were to receive a champagne greeting. 

Nope. 

When we got to the room, there was no welcome note, fruit basket or anything for that matter. Plus, while the room was certainly large, it was stark.  No flowers, no knick-knacks, just the suite.   There were other minor things as well.  But by the time we got to our room it was well past midnight and WJJ and I just wanted to go to sleep.

Thursday was a really good day.  WJJ and I went to the Concierge lounge for breakfast.  It was lovely.  Then we toured the Palazzo hotel and the Venetian and had a great lunch together.  That evening we went to see The Jersey Boys with our two friends Bob and Terri.  The Show was exceptional.  We were seated in Row 2 --there were only five seats in our row.  That’s where I met Lona.  Before the show began she and I chatted.  She is from Kentucky.  She is married and is a school administrator.  This was her 9^th time seeing Jersey Boys.  Her husband was off seeing the Elvis Show.  Lona has one married daughter and one little granddaughter. 

She also had a son who committed suicide two years ago due to a drug overdose.   During the play, the one, and only really sad moment, is when Frankie Valle’s daughter dies of a drug overdose.  You can only imagine during that part, I held her hand and the two of us cried like babies.  Jamie wanted to know how in a theatre of 2,000 people, I can find the one woman who needed my support. That’s just the way it is.

Anyway, after the play WJJ, Terri, Bob and I went to dinner; the perfect ending to a perfect day.

Friday -- WJJ and Bob had gone golfing.  Terri wanted to “relax” and I had the day to myself, except for one business appointment at 3:30 PM.  I decided to address some of the challenges and confusion about the room and the hotel.  I spoke to three different people, none of whom wanted to listen.  At one point, I actually said, “OK now listen carefully, I am the customer.”  “Further, you are not making me feel “warm and fuzzy.””

I briefly left my frustrations behind and went to the casino.  While I never normally play the slots, I just wanted to breathe and relax.  Well, I hit on one of the machines that gives you an additional four spins to make more money.  My machine wouldn’t spin.  I pressed the damn spin button five times, no spin.  I pressed the service button, no service.  Finally after waiting about fifteen minutes I got someone’s attention.  It took another forty-five minutes to get the machine fixed and get my free spins.  I only got two spins, not four I was suppose to.  When I said to the Manager that I was supposed to get four spins not two, she sweetly said, “Oh, I’m sorry” and walked away.  I actually contemplated addressing it further, but frankly, I was not going to allow this day to go downhill.  So instead I decided to try and address my other challenges with the hotel -- again.  

Enter Jason Arnold, Assistant Manager of the “Prestige” Lounge.  This young man from Michigan did just about everything correctly.  He listened, he nodded, and he addressed my concerns and assured me that I was a valued customer.

My day was getting better.  Time to leave for my appointment.  I had checked on my meeting, it was to take place about fifteen minutes away from the hotel.   As I got to the taxi stand, the doorman actually looked up the address for the driver and gave her directions.  The driver was from Ethiopia and kept insisting he knew exactly where the building was located.  I left the hotel at 3:10 for a 3:30 appointment.   

I cannot describe my taxi ride.

It was filled with circles, dead ends, going down one way streets, did I mention the wrong way? And series of me saying “You don’t know where you’re going, call someone.”   I don’t want to elaborate any longer because it would simply ruin this day, but I can exemplify the degree of frustration by sharing the following:

I arrived at my destination at 4:45.  One hour and thirty-five minutes, for what should have been a fifteen-minute ride.  Yes, I missed my appointment.  The driver wanted to drive me back.  Needless to say, I declined.  So I got out of the cab, walked into the building and called another cab.  I waited fifteen minutes for it to arrive and drove back to the hotel.  What a waste of time!

So thus far, my Las Vegas trip was not going as planned.  Way too much angst and annoyance. But better things were to come!  Terri and I were going to see “The Men of Chippendales”  WAHOOO!

(To be continued)