What is Sexy?

What is Sexy?

Recently I started chatting with my nieces (who are in their 20’s) about being “Sexy”. Their thoughts were fascinating to me.  Of course it got me thinking. What is Sexy?  Who is Sexy?  Is there a generational difference in ones definition of Sexy?     

So I want your help.  I am really curious about YOUR thoughts on being Sexy?

Please answer ONE or ALL of these questions. 

What is Sexy?

Are you Sexy?

What female do you consider Sexy?

Why do you consider her Sexy?

Is there a difference between Sexy in public and Sexy in the bedroom?

If yes, what is the difference?

What is “Age Appropriate ” to be Sexy?  (Give the range --youngest to oldest)

Okay, that’s it.  I can hardly wait to see the results!!! 

I Enjoy Being a Girl

I enjoy being a Girl!!!

Here’s a little quiz to find out just how “feminine” you are. We’re not talking “sexy” or even “seductive,” just “girly.”  If you’re a guy and you score high, “Houston, we have a problem!” This quiz is for girls only!

Answer “yes” or “no.” 10 Points for every “Yes”

1.      Do you always wear matching bras and undies?

2.      Do you wear pretty bras? (Don’t tell me you’ve got big boobs and there are not pretty bras out there – WRONG!)

3.      Do you know the difference between these panties: G-String, Thong, Bikini, Low-rise Brief, and Full Brief? (BTW, if you wear Full Briefs, throw them out and immediately deduct 10 points from your score! Not feminine.)

4.      Do you have at least seven pretty peignoir sets, nightgowns, babydolls or chemises in seven different colors? (Notice I said “pretty” and those ugly cotton Ts don’t count!)

5.      Do you have more high heel shoes than flats?

6.      Do you own a frilly lace blouse?

7.      Do you own a single strand of pearls?

8.      Do you wear skirts and dresses more than shorts or pants?

9.      Do you own and wear an accessory (a purse, barrette, handkerchief or piece of jewelry), which was handed down from another generation?

10.  Do you visit the beauty salon at least once a quarter?

11.  Do you follow a nightly beauty routine?

12.  Do you get a facial at least once a quarter?

13.  Do you get a professional massage at least once a quarter?

14.  Are your nails and toenails always manicured?

15.  Do you know how to speak softly?

16.  Do you wear makeup every day?

17.  Are your eyes dazzling, your lips inviting and do your cheeks blush?

18.  Do you know how to show your décolleté? 

19.   Are you more like Catherine Zeta Jones than Ellen DeGeneres? (Keep your poison pen letters. I love Ellen, but let’s face it – she’s not feminine, nor does she want to be.)

20.  Do you own and wear pretty gloves?

Bonus Question: Do you know how to “flutter” your eyes? (OK, maybe I’m getting carried away.)

Add up your points.  

Before we reveal your girlie status, deduct 10 points for each “yes” on the following items…

1.      Can you see your roots?

2.      Do you have hairy legs?

3.      Have you said “no, thank you” to a man who’s tried to help you do something simple? (Take out the trash, fill your car with gas, open a door for you, etc.)

4.      You had no idea what décolleté is?

5.      You bite your nails? (ick!)

6.       You ONLY wear black cocktail dresses? (Black is fabulous, but lovely pastels are pretty!)

7.      Do you use profanity?  BAD

8.      You don’t know the difference between a peignoir set, a nightgown, a babydoll or a chemise .

9.      You often wear your hair in a ponytail?

10.   You think long hair is “too much trouble.”

Calculate your FINAL total.

200 Points – You’re Scarlett O’Hara. Rhett Butler would never walk away from you!

150-199 Points – You’re a real princess – Snow White, Cinderella or even Jasmine.

100-149 Points – You’re more like Sandra Bullock or Meg Ryan. Attractive or cute, but not so “girlie” or “feminine.”

0-99 Points – You’re more like Hillary Clinton or Sarah Palin. I’m not talking politics here – just rating your femininity – and Hillary doesn’t have it!

Zero or negative points – You’re more like Bill Clinton. 

Perfection is Overrated

I periodically have to remind myself that perfection is definitely overrated.

When I first started UndercoverWear, I thought I had to be perfect in every aspect of my life – the perfect mother, the perfect wife, the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect friend, the perfect businesswoman and stated simply “the perfect woman.” (There’s that youth thing again!)

Back then; I did a lot of cooking and even some baking. I was known for my scrumptious brownies. My son’s school was having a bake sale and of course, I volunteered to make them – three-dozen of them. Easy.

The baking was on my To Do list for Friday, but unfortunately the bake sale was Thursday. On Thursday afternoon around two o’clock, one of the other mothers called me at UndercoverWear and offered to pick up the brownies around 4pm. I politely thanked her and said, “No, I’ll drop them off.”

What brownies?  Oh damn.  I screwed up.

My options were limited. I suppose I could leave UndercoverWear and do my best to whip up a batch. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a viable possibility. I had meetings and I didn’t have the ingredients. I could call the school and tell the truth…forget that!

Think, Tiffany, Think!

Ahh, a solution – the “I’m Not Perfect” solution was born. I called a local bakery and

asked the owner for a huge favor – three dozen of the biggest, yummiest brownies he had ever made. Please add extra nuts, chocolate, and anything else that would make these the best brownies in the entire world! I said, “feel free to charge me whatever you want, but these brownies have to be FABULOUS.”

He obliged and I added – “Oh, by the way – please don’t cut these brownies perfectly even.  They have to look homemade. With a chuckle, he agreed to have them ready by 5pm.”

Mission Accomplished…not quite.

I left the office for home at 4pm to get my cake plates and scour the recipe box for a great recipe to include. With a quick edit to the recipe and a tag that read, “Tiffany’s Terrific Treats,” I was on my way to the bakery for the transfer to my plates.

I made it to the school in time for the bake sale and guess what?! My brownies were a big hit! No, I never confessed I didn’t make them and there was absolutely no guilt.

Ladies, when you’ve got too much going on in your life, make the decision upfront. Perfection is overrated. I’m perfectly comfortable not being perfect!

Obedient Wives Club

My husband got all excited the other day when he read the article, “Serve and Entertain Urge Obedient Wives.” The story was about a new bride – 22 year-old Ummu Atirah – who believes she knows the secret to a blissful marriage. The secret: “Obey your husband and ensure he is sexually satisfied.”

Okay, before all the men in North America start loudly cheering, Ummu and some 800 other Muslim women in Malaysia have started the Obedient Wives Club. Ironically, Malaysia is one of the most modern and progressive Muslim majority nations – many Malaysian Muslim women hold high posts in government and the corporate world.  

So, this Club feels it can cure social ills such as prostitution and divorce by teaching women to be submissive and keep their men happy in the bedroom. One of its founders, Royayah Mohammad said the following; “Sex is a taboo in Asian society.  We have ignored it in our marriage, but it’s all down to sex.  A good wife is a good sex worker to her husband. What is wrong with being a whore…to your husband?” She continued, “disobedient wives are the cause for upheaval in the world,” because she says men are not happy at home and their minds and souls are disturbed.

I don’t even know where to start. Boy, if I were a man, I’d be really ticked at this Club because it basically states that men are morons and women can control their every mood and move by simply having sex with them. I’m a believer that you can have a rotten marriage and good sex, but you can NEVER have a fabulous marriage and bad sex, but I also certainly don’t think that men are thinking about sex every moment of every day.

Let’s at least suggest that he’s thinking about food 10% of the day and watching sports 20% of the day – not even YOU in stilettos can get him away from that TV! Do you think that perhaps his children give him joy or maybe, just maybe, he enjoys his job?! 

I certainly know the importance of sex in a relationship. My mother taught me at a very young age (before I even really knew what she meant), that with men, “when they’re hard, they’re soft and when they’re soft, they’re hard.” If you need explanation, it’s you can get what you want when your man wants to have sex.

There’s an old saying, “men want the woman they marry to be a chef in the kitchen, a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom.” This proves sex is an important part of most men’s thinking. Remember the old adage, “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”? Well, my husband says that’s totally wrong…he says that’s about six 6 inches too high.   

So, we’re all in agreement that men and sex go hand-in-hand. However, the notion of a man wants a woman to be totally submissive in every aspect of their relationship and rely solely on sex to “connect” is ridiculous. It’s an insult to men. I truly believe men have more depth than that – they, like a woman, that loves and respects them, can make them laugh and can hold them close in bad times. Men want a companion, friend and, of course, a lover. But isn’t that what women want as well?

The only good thing that I took out of this article was trying to find a way to introduce the Obedient Club to UndercoverWear. Just think how much product I could sell – or better yet, how many I could convince to become UndercoverWear Agents – so much for obedience!

Weenie Weiner

I’m compelled to revisit my blog re: men + ego, power, sex drive and fidelity. I now have to add the “Weenie Weiner.” Everyone’s been talking about Anthony Weiner.  Is there really anything more to say?

Oh yes there is! What was he thinking?! I know what he was doing, but once again – where are his brains? Obviously in his balls – sorry!

Having watched him previously on TV, I see Mr. Weiner as outspoken, arrogant and a mean person. He’s less “ego driven” and more “insecurity driven.” 

In my “Ego” column, I’ll place Schwarzenegger, Edwards, Gingrich and Clinton. (Let’s face it, Gingrich had an affair with a staffer 23 years younger than he – obviously it wasn’t his good looks and great six-pack that attracted her.)

In the “Insecurity” column, I vote Weiner, Spitzer (who hired prostitutes) and Craig (who solicited sex in the men’s room). 

Let’s take a look outside politics and let’s not forget Tiger.  I think Tiger got “screwed” – literally and figuratively. The PGA demanded that he apologize to the fans. Why? He owes the fans nothing. I’m not dismissing his really bad behavior, but the only people who deserved an apology were his wife, mother and staff.  If we fans make heroes of our sports figures and/or actors than we are dumb.

Charlton Heston played God. He wasn’t God. Understand?

Then there’s the whole Kobe Bryant fiasco. His infidelity seemed OK as long as he didn’t rape the chick. Of course, Kobe gave his wife a 4 Million $$$ diamond ring three days after he was accused of rape. So, I guess a little infidelity goes a long way.

But let’s get back to Weiner.  Ok, if you were going to do something that will ruin your marriage and career, why in heaven’s name would it be sexting? Go for the real thing, damn it! Trust me, if I was ever going to be unfaithful to my husband – and I wouldn’t – ya think I’d have cybersex or do you think I’d find one really HOT, young stud?! If I’m going to destroy my life, it certainly ain’t going to be abstract.

So “Weenie Weiner” gets my “dumb sex addict” award.  While I feel badly for his wife (who is newly pregnant) and family, I have absolutely no pity for him. As my mother always said…he made his bed, now he has to lie in it.  Or can he create a cyber-bed?

The final irony is that his wife, Huma Abedin, is an incredibly intelligent, educated, gorgeous Muslim woman. She’s a top aide to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and currently traveling with her in Abu Dhabi, United Arab Emeritus.

I’m betting, after business hours, Huma will receive some advice on how she should handle the scandal. Remember, Hillary decided to “stand by her man.” Will Huma?

Are You a Cougar?

I think I must be getting older. I remember wearing my short, leather mini when I was younger – I looked and felt sexy. Ironically, it was in that same mini (and stiletto heels) when my daughter-in-law Cheryl met me for the first time. She tells a very funny story of how I said, “So Cheryl, tell me about yourself” and how it might have been a little intimidating. 

Those days are gone. Today I hear, “you’re stunning” or “glamorous” and the famous, “I hope I look as good, when I’m you’re age.” One of my best compliments (or insults) of all time was when a young, handsome man working on the ship was starring at me. He finally said, “I think you are stunning. I’ll bet you were really beautiful when you were young.”

Just kill me now.

I’m not complaining – much. I supposed I prefer those terms rather than “old and dowdy.” But how does one go from being a “sex kitten” to “foxy” or a “Cougar?” It’s that damn age thing again. Next, it will be Grizabella (from the musical “Cats”) – the former Glamour Cat who has lost her sparkle. Yup, she’s the one that sang that famous song, “Memories.”

Memories of being young, sexy and hot. Oh well, I guess that’s what I have to look forward to. Today, I’ll settle on being a “cougar.” So let’s find out how many of you are “Cougars” with this simple quiz.

Answer Yes or No.  Each  “yes” worth 1 point

1. Are you over 40?

2. Are you attracted to guys in their 20’s and 30’s?

3. Do you think young construction workers are hot?

4. Are you hot?

5. Do you regularly workout?

6. Do you wear Stiletto’s?

7. Do you wear sexy bra’s and panties?

8. Do you wear thigh highs?

9. Do you get manicures and pedicures?

10. Do you “trim”?

11. Do you use botox?

12. Have you had any of the following: Boob job, nose job, liposuction?

13. Do you date or are you married to someone who is 3+ years older than you?

14. Do you know what a six pack is?  (No not a case of beer)

15. Would you rather be with a much younger HOT guy than a much older rich guy?

16. Do you enjoy watching gorgeous men like the Chippendale Dancers?

Bonus Round (Five points for each correct answer)

B1. What famous actress has played and appeared with a ghost, posed nude 7 month pregnant and is married to a man 16 years younger than she?

B2. The name of the 1967 movie in which Anne Bancroft seduces Dustin Hoffman?

B3. Which one of these ladies is a Cougar?  Katie Couric, Diane Sawyer, Barbara Walters. 

           

Bonus Round Answers:

1.      Demi Moore

2.      Mrs. Robinson

3.      Katie Couric

Now add up your score!

If you received 20 points or more you are some type of Cougar! Which kind?

Cougar Princess – You’re over 30 and have never dated anyone 7+ years younger but would love the opportunity to do so.

Cougar in Training – You’re not quite 40, but you like younger men.

Closet Cougar (like my friends Nancy & Tracy…or President Carter) – you are happily married but “lust in your heart.”

COUGAR – You are married to or dating a man 7+ years YOUNGER than you.

Cougar Queen – You are married to a man 7+ years OLDER than you, BUT you really like men 7+ years YOUNGER than you.

Fantasy Cougar – you are 50+ and dream about men in their 20’s and 30’s.

Grand Dame Cougar – you are 60+ and married to someone 45 or younger.

As for me, perhaps I just think of myself as my husband’s Bond Girl – Pussy Galore.

A Few of My Favorite Things

Recently I have been thinking about some of my favorite things. If it’s OK, I’d like to share them with you. No, this is not going to be a heartfelt blog like “One of my favorite things is sitting in the rain writing poetry and thinking about loving my husband.” No, it’s really much more shallow than that – simply some of my favorite THINGS! 

1. Safeway’s “Refreshe” Wild Cherry Water. I love this drink with Zero calories, fat, carbs, or sodium. The best part – it’s not ZERO TASTE – it’s really yummy! My other favorite flavor is Orange Crème – all the same Zeros and the closest thing to a no-calCreamsicle you’ll find. I’ve tried other flavored water, but they wane in comparison to Safeway. I’ve got a thing about weight. Anytime I find something that tastes good and makes me feel good, I’ll have a “good diet day” and that product makes my favorite list. Remind me to tell you about Sylvester Styllone’s diet pudding – what a depressing story!

Now let’s move onto the “face.” Since you know about my first issue (weight), let’s chat about the age. Let’s face it, (pardon the pun), my son turns 40 this year and unless I’m one of those “girls from Kentucky who married a first cousin at the age of 7,” you’ve gotta figure I’m over 60. I am! Going on 62 to be exact.

By the way, I apologize upfront to anyone who took offense to my Kentucky stereotype. – it’s a joke and this whole “politically correct” stuff has really gone too far.  

..Back to the point at hand. For me, it’s a “no” to a facelift and “yes” to everything which keeps this skin smooth, tight and younger looking. Yes, I’m embarrassed to say that if I was told that putting horse manure on my face would help me looker younger, I’d probably try it.  And if it works, you know it will be on my list of favorites! Bringing me to #2…

2. Clinique’s Gentle Eye Makeup Remover. My evening cleansing routine (a 20-minute process), starts with Clinique’s Gentle Eye Remover – a really very gentle cream. Tiffany’s tip - be very careful around your eye area or you can actually create wrinkles.  Wrinkles are a bad thing!

3. LaMer’s Crème de La Mer. I use La Mer skincare and have done so forever. This luxurious rich moisturizer, was created by NASA aerospace physicist, Dr. Max Huber to help heal his burned skin from a lab accident.  The cream is very costly because it contains specific seaweed taken off the north coast of California, that can only be harvested twice a year. La Mer Creamwas Huber’s only product and when he passed away, I almost bought the company from his daughter. (I didn’t and they later sold it to Estee Lauder – I definitely should’ve!)

A quick side note: my sister, Charlene, swears there was a study which proved La Mer Cream is no better than Nivea – a very affordable cream. So, I researched the “Battle of the Creams” and found several forums actually touting Nivea Creme as the cheaper and better version of La Mer. Nivea Crème is made in several countries with different formulas. In North America, the Nivea crème is from Mexico – a formula with absolutely NO similarities to La Mer. After my “research,” I‘ve decided (drum roll please) that they are NOT the same. I will, however, buy Nivea Crème and conduct my own face field test. Stay tuned for the forthcoming results.

4. Gel Manicures. From the face to the hands. This process make my list, but the jury’s still out on these new gel nails.  If you’re unfamiliar – it’s a two-step process during which a gel is applied to your nails (instead of acrylic) and then a special color is applied on top. The manicure, which is said to be better than acrylic for your nails, lasts 2 - 4 weeks and looks just about perfect. That’s the good news. The bad news is I am still NOT convinced that it doesn’t damage your nails. I’m going to research and keep you posted.

5. A foundation brush. I’d never used one until recently and what a difference it makes. I Love it – my favorite is the Color Me Beautiful foundation Brush! When applying foundation with your fingertips or even a sponge, you actually rub it into your skin. With a foundation brush, you paint the product on your skin – which is much more flattering and better for your skin.

6, 7, 8 & 9. Color Me Beautiful is the company that brings you “Seasonal Colors.” I love the Adrien Arpel Papaya Enzyme Cleanser – it’s fabulous! (Also on the list is Moisture Complex Liquid Foundation, Lip Plumping Gloss and Adrien Arpel Velvet Foundation Primer.) If anyone would like to try any of the Color Me Beautiful products, I have arranged for you to receive a special discount.  Simply log-in to www.colormedirect.com and use promo code MYFAVS for a 20% discount!

10. MariellaBurani perfume. I love this fragrance. For years, I wore “Tiffany” for obvious reasons, but my new “fav” is Burani. It’s not easy to find, but worth the search.

11. I love anything that makes me look thinner. But, I HATE Spanx.  Honestly they are so damn uncomfortable.  Why do we women put ourselves through that.  Why don’t we just buy a bigger dress?????

Well that’s a start.  I’m sure it’s a surprise to not see my favorites from my own company – UndercoverWear. That’s simple – I love every single thing!!!!   OK, so I’m fibbing – there are things I love, things I don’t like and things that don’t like me. For example, the cute little Chippendale “Sweet Tart” apron baby doll – it’s adorable on the model, but those ruffles around my hips make me look like Dumbo’s mother in a tutu! I promise, in the coming weeks, I’ll share the “must haves” from UndercoverWear, including some “Bedroom Magic.”

Ego, Power, Sex Drive and Fidelity

I really want someone to help me find a man who is confident, powerful, accomplished, highly sexual and monogamous. Obviously, this excludes Arnold, Tiger and John Edwards. Oh! And obviously, the good man isn't for ME I have my man. Thank you.

In general, it seems highly visible and powerful men can't seem to keep their penises in their pants.

It's not just politicians and celebrities. Several years ago, three of my girlfriends (each married to successful men), found out their respective husbands were cheating on them. Two out of three of the gentlemen, scratch that, PIGS, had several female friends with whom they were sleeping with.

I actually created a club called, Men are Pigs and Deserve to Die complete with gold pigpens. I even had the cutest T-shirts made for my friends, with our club name and a sketch of a pig lying upside down in front of a tombstone. I wanted to include the shirt in the UndercoverWear line, but believe it or not the male manufacturer refused to do it.

Not to be thwarted I changed it to Men are Pigs and Deserve to Fry with a pig and frying bacon. They still refused. By the way all the manufacturers were Jewish men not sure if it was really a male thing or a kosher thing, now that I think of it.

Getting back to my point...

Take a look at Donald Trump, Steve Wynn or Bill Clinton. Trump married three times. Wynn married, divorced his wife, remarried her and dumped her again. Clinton, well, he did not have sex with that woman.

Right.

I looked up Warren Buffet. He was married and later separated from his wife. They, however, remained good friends until her death, she even introduced him to his current wife. I don't get the sense that Warren is a player, but then again, Warren is not egotistical. Rich, yes. Talented, yes. But very low-key.

Hmmm, I might be on to something.

Bill Gates is a friend of Warrens. I'll bet he doesn't cheat on his wife, but like Warren, Bill is not egotistical. Lets face it, hes just a very rich "computer geek".

So, perhaps cheating is ego driven. Alas, this begs the question; does a man (or woman) cheat because they are egomaniacs and confidant or is it about insecurity?

Or maybe the truth of the matter is men are pigs and deserve to fry.


I still think we should have T-shirts made!

Where You're From, Doesn't Mean That's Where You Stay

What could a 5'7 Jewish boy from the Bronx who never graduated from college and sold ties for a living accomplish?

If you answered, not much, SURPRISE!!!

That boy was named Ralph Lipshitz and became Ralph Lauren you know, the Polo fellow.

Mr. Lauren came to mind when I heard Oprah Winfrey would be interviewing him this week. This was his first interview in 20 years. What you may not know is that I was also interviewed by Oprah several years ago...However, I was not invited to her farewell shows.

Hmm...

So, Mr. Lauren and I have Oprah in common, but theres more. I actually met Mr. Lauren for the first time many years ago at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in New York. At the time, my mother was a controller, his division was responsible for the design and manufacturing of womens suiting. At the same time, I worked weekends with designer Leo Lozzi, who taught me the intricacies of sample design. I was responsible of coordinating buttons, linings etc.

I was only 20 years old and Mr. Lauren was interested in how I learned so much about fashion at such a young age. He was intrigued that by the age of 16, I created a job for myself at a high end dress shop where my mother shopped.

I convinced the owner that he need to develop a younger clientele. So, I hired 3 other young gals and we all became Fashion Advisors for the store. I trained them, managed them and got a commission on their sales.

Hmmm kind of sounds like what I do today!!!

Meeting Ralph Lauren and hearing his success story fascinated me. Even though I was young, I knew exactly what I wanted to achieve in life.

I recently read that when asked by his yearbook editors what he wanted to do in life, Mr. Lauren said, I want to be a millionaire. Ironically, on my honeymoon, I wrote some lifelong goals. On the list were things like: have a picnic with great wine and cheese and visit Paris. My last goal in big bold letters was, I WANT TO BE A MILLIONAIRE.

So, the short Jewish boy from the Bronx certainly achieved his goals. And, the not-so-little Italian-Greek girl from the mill town of Lawrence, MA didnt do so badly either!

We lived our dreams.

But let me ask you one more thing do you think that young people today can still live their dreams? Id love to hear your thoughts and your dreams!