Personally I think it is really important for women to put as much time and energy into their marriage, as they do their children and their friendships. It rather frosts my cookies when women spend more time deciding what they are wearing to lunch with their girlfriends, than what they wear in front of their husband.
Isn’t our marriage supposed to be the most important relationship we have?
And men, they need all kinds of lessons. How’s this for lesson one?
Hey guys, did you know that most women need romance and “sweet talk” just as much as you need sex? But don’t get confused! Women enjoy sex as well.
Here’s the difference, for most men, foreplay is five minutes (at best) consisting of kissing, and if you’re lucky a touch of touching. For women foreplay is soft romantic caresses with gentle passionate kisses and even the forbidden- talking! (And not the “dirty talk”)
So here are the 12 steps that will keep your marriage, fresh, fun romantic, and exciting!
1. Stay in love! Feel it and say it often.
2. Passionate Friendship is great, but being Passionate is Perfect!
3. Create date night. Yes; you really can take time off together. When Jamie was young, WJJ and I created “date night” in our home. He could watch TV in the den and he could come into the dining room or living room to say “goodnight”, but it was our time. Obviously “Bedroom Magic” attire was saved until we went to our bedroom. But WJJ and I still dressed for dinner as if it were “date night.”
4. Play games. When WJJ and had no money, I gave him a Fantasy Fishbowl for Christmas. I wrote 60 different fantasies on paper and put them in the fishbowl. They ranged in things like, “I’ll say I’m sorry even if I’m not wrong --to much spicier fantasies. And of course there were rules, etc. But to this day, WJJ will tell you it was one of his favorite gifts from me.
5. Think “before the marriage”. Treat your husband the same way you would if you were dating and wanted him to propose! How’s that for a sobering thought?
6. Become a “One Minute Lover” (Not about Sex) (I’ll tell you more about that later)
7. Don’t be boring! WJJ never knows what to expect from me. I’m not taking about the bedroom necessarily. One day, I’ll pull my hair back in a ponytail and wear jeans, the next day; I’ll be wearing a long gown looking like Joan Collins. I belong to a women’s group who decided to buy boas, last week I walked around the house in my workout clothes, sneakers and my boa around my neck. See? Not boring.
8. Do dress-up! And I mean dress up! You know, dress up for date night and dress up for Bedroom Magic. Do you have the right lingerie wardrobe and accessories? A few wigs, gloves, and stiletto heels are a necessity.
9. Be creative. Use your imagination in the bedroom. Do you want to be in control? Or give him all the control? Take your pick, but be creative! A friend of mine on Valentines night transformed her bedroom into a bordello complete with red satin fabric draped on the bed and on the window. And of course, candles, lotions, potions and her favorite UndercoverWear.
10. Come to your Senses! You know seeing, smelling, touching, hearing and tasting, use them all to create a more exciting love life.
11. Don’t get too comfortable. This really is my pet peeve! Just because you’ve been married for a long time, don’t start talking and doing things that are inappropriate. Do you really have to talk about your time of the month and all that it entails? Or is it necessary to throw on an old t-shirt to wear to bed? Do you really think it’s attractive to decide you’ve been too busy to shower or wash your hair today? Now if you want to create an “ugly day” pact, that’s OK. You know, one day a week you can BOTH be “ugly”. But getting too comfortable in anything usually spells T-R-O-U-B-L-E.
12. And finally, remember the romance! If you continually think romantically and act romantically, then you will indeed have the type of relationship that you both deserve.
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