Getting on the Donahue Show

Since my celebrity blog was posted, many of my friends have asked me to elaborate on that list.  They want to know whom I liked and whom I disliked.  Hmmm, not sure I’m supposed to write anything “nasty”, so I’m going to stick to a few comments about those  people that I really enjoyed.

My number one favorite was Phil Donahue.   But before I can share with you why I liked him so much, it’s important to know the background story.  The “lead up” to how I actually appeared on his show was both fascinating and frustrating. 

Because of UndercoverWear, I had been featured on virtually every “talk show” in America.  But at the time, the number one daytime show was “Donahue.”  As I was doing UCW’s PR, I continually attempted to get on the show.  Their Executive producer, a gal named Jane, had no desire to have a “sexy lingerie” company being featured. 

Now let me bring you back a bit.  The year was 1983 and women were “burning their bras”, saying that they wanted to be treated the same as men. Part of the fashion statement was NOT looking sexy or even feminine.  Women were wearing pinstriped pants with matching jackets, white shirts and ties and flat loafers.  It was not only about “equal pay for equal job” --with which I wholeheartedly agreed --it was “we don’t need men.”

Of course I completely disagreed.  My favorite line was and still is –“When men can have babies --then we will be the same.”  Plus, “ I will compete with a man in the Boardroom but not in the Bedroom. “  Obviously, Gloria Steinem and I had a very different philosophy.

Anyway, Jane the Executive Producer wanted no part of UCW.  Every so often I would actually get her on the phone and she was as cold as ice cubes.  The more I tried, the more annoyed she got.  The answer was, “no.”  Phil Donahue was NOT interested in UCW or me.   Well, anyone who knows me realizes I don’t understand “no.” Jane reluctance simply spurred me on.  I would get on that show.

WJJ, Jamie and I were in Hawaii for Jamie’s spring break.  I found out that Evening Magazine, the syndicated show, was going to “rerun” our segment nationally.  So I developed my strategy.  Somehow I found out where Mr. Donahue lived.  No, I didn’t fly to Chicago and sit on his doorstep.  Instead I simply sent him a blind telegram saying,  “Mr. Donahue, Please watch Evening Magazine tonight.”

I had no idea if he would get the telegram or more importantly watch the show.  Plus back then each one-hour show was divided into four segments - 13 minutes each.  What if Phil watched the show and got excited about one of the other segments?  Maybe my thought process was flawed.  I’d just have to wait and see.

I didn’t have to wait long.  My assistant Karen knew how hard I had tried to get on the Donahue Shoe.  Well lo and behold at 6 AM Hawaii time (the earliest she felt comfortable phoning,  Karen called me.   She said, “I’ve been waiting for hours to call you.”  She literally was crying tears of joy and continued. “You’ll never guess who called this morning?”

Calmly and confidently I responded.” The Donahue Show. “ She screamed, “ Yes!  How did you know?”  I responded “Lucky Guess”.   Karen said, “Jane wants you to call her today.  They want you on the show. “

Perfect.  Just as I had planned.  Now strategy number 2 --I had to think about my objective.  As you know a “working philosophy” of mine is “OO”  -- I am “Objective Oriented.” I purposely did not call immediately.  Didn’t want to seem over anxious. Remember I held the secret.  I knew Jane didn’t want us on the show but obviously,

Phil did.

So I called about an hour and half later.   Jane’s entire demeanor had changed.  She was so very warm and friendly.   She said something like” You know Tiffany I’ve been thinking and I’ve decided that UCW might be a good segment for the show.”  She continued, “I’d like to give you the opportunity of doing the Donahue Show.  As you know, we have 4 different guests and you would have a 13 minute spot and we are going to feature you during ratings week. This should very exciting for you.” 

Now most people would have been thrilled.  But Jane slipped up.  And being a very good listener, I heard it loudly and clearly.  Oh yes, I knew Donahue wanted us - but most importantly, he wanted us on ratings week.

 Again I say to you, remember, UndercoverWear was the talk of the country.  Nobody was doing home lingerie shows in Middle America featuring everything “from the ultra conservative to the barely nothing and much, much less.  According to Playboy, UCW was part of the sexual revolution of the 80’s.  (Of course all I wanted to do was make some extra money)

Anyway, being either incredibly gutsy or really dumb, I decided to “roll the dice”.  So I said, “You know  Jane, I’ve thought about it  and frankly UCW cannot tell our story in 13 minutes.  We have to chat about the company, take our Sensuality Test, show the lingerie and feature our top $$$ earners.   That will take the full hour show. “

Jane was momentarily silent  --obviously stunned and then said, “ No, absolutely not.’ I responded, “I’m so sorry to hear that.  I really was looking forward to doing the show.  Perhaps another time.  Jane, if you change your mind, please call me directly,” and I gave her the Hawaii phone number.

We hung up.  I nearly died. Oops, perhaps I made an error.  Jane didn’t call back.  Well not that day.  Two long unbearable days later, she called.  They would give us “two segments.”  Obviously, Jane and I were not speaking the same language.  Again, I said no.  This time it only took Jane 1 day to call back.  Yes, we would have the full hour. Yes, they would fly WJJ, Karen and me to Chicago First Class (and of course cover our accommodations.) Yes, we would do a fashion show using professional models.  OOOPS --I said “no” again.  By now poor Jane realized I was in the drivers seat.  She was aghast when I said I wanted to use our UCW Agents NOT professional models --because our company was based on “real women” in Middle America being part of UndercoverWear.  We wanted “Super Moms not Super Models.’

So this was Part One of my Phil Donahue Show story.  We were going to be on for the full hour.  Hooray for me.  But Part Two starts with “Holy crap” what have I done?

Phil Donahue can be really controversial.  Is he going to start lambasting me about how I am anti- women’s lib.  Is he going to make me cry repenting “I’m so sorry I wear lingerie.????”

I suddenly was reminded of the old adage, be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.  I was going to be on the Phil Donahue Show!