The Phil Donahue Show -- The BIG Day!

Well, this is the final blog about The Phil Donahue Show.   At last the big day had arrived.  The UndercoverWear entourage consisted of about ten people.  WJJ, Karen, Ronda (our top money achiever earning over $400,000), six or seven UndercoverWear Agents who were going to model on national TV and me.

As I mentioned previously, while I knew the format, there was no advance information as to the questions that would be asked.  Plus remember I had “demanded” the full hour, and we were getting it.  There were four, thirteen-minute segments.

Ready, set, GO!  1^st Segment (piece of cake) --WJJ and I were on stage with Phil, when he asked, “how did UndercoverWear begin?” I had told the story about 1 zillion times, so that was a piece of cake.  Boy, I had no idea why I was so worried.  Phil was charming and couldn’t have been better!

Break time --Commercial  -Phil just chatted with WJJ and me.  “Oh this is fun!” I thought.

Segment 2 --It was time to administer the “Sensuality Test” to the audience.  They had a ball!  Seriously! Again, why was I so worried?  I was a real “pro” at this.   The thirteen-minute segment flew by. 

Two down – Two to go!

Segment 3 --I commentated the Fashion Show --It was the first time a corselet had been shown on National TV.  Our Agents were the models, trust me, they looked better than any Victoria Secret Model!  I was so proud and pleased! 

Three down – One to go!

Segment 4 --During the commercial Phil left the stage and it was time to take his microphone and ask the audience to give their comments.  He started off very innocuously with something like, “so how did you do on the Sensuality Test?”

The audience guest just giggled and gave her score. All was going really well.  Then it happened. There was a woman in the audience, who had to be 80.  She was not smiling.  She had no expression.  The demise of UndercoverWear was about to arrive.  

Phil said, “So what do you think about all this sexy stuff?  Would you wear it?” 

My heart literally stopped.  Tiffany, say goodbye to fortune and fame.

Grandma answered,  “Are you kidding?”

But without skipping a beat she added, “I just wish these things were around for Grandpa and me --we sure would have had one heck of a time!”

The entire audience broke out in laughter --with Phil nearly unable to control himself.  I was now able to breathe again.

The show was a huge success!  In fact, most people referred to it as the one hour UndercoverWear Commercial --but we didn’t have to pay.  The UndercoverWear telephones rang off the wall with everyone wanting to join our company! Sales skyrocketed! From the day the “Phil Donahue Show” aired to this very day, people ask if we had “planted” Grandma in the audience and coached her for the response.  I will swear on everything that is Holy that we did not do that.   

Truth be known, the thought never crossed my mind.

I don’t know whether we were just lucky or if the time had come for women to start truly enjoying their sensuality. Maybe Playboy was correct, maybe I really did help create the Sexual Revolution of the ‘80’s.

I believe UndercoverWear continues to do so.  We started with a correlates and peek-a-boo undies and we have graduated to Nipple Nectar and the Celebrator.  As they say, “We’ve come a long way Baby”.  Pardon the pun!

Phil Donahue Part III - with a BUNCH of Celebrities!!!

When I arrived in Chicago, a driver holding a Phil Donahue sign with my name on it immediately greeted me.  Those around me were whispering and pointing and in fact, I heard one couple say, “Oh she’s famous --I just can’t remember her name.”

My suite at the Drake Hotel was gorgeous.   There was a fruit basket, champagne and a welcome note from The Donahue Staff, as well as my agenda for the next two days.

So Day One in Chicago ended with me looking over all my notes preparing for my meeting with Phil Donahue the next day.  The taping would not be until Day Three.

Day Two --Chicago 

As I woke up, I realized that this was it this was “the day!”  I looked in the mirror and repeatedly said,   “Tiffany James this is going to be fabulous.  Tiffany James YOU are going to be fabulous.”

I absolutely had to use positive reinforcement.   I could not let my nerves get to me.  As you know, I am a firm believer in “What you say is what you hear.  What you hear is what you believe.”  So I simply kept repeating my mantra, “Tiffany, You will be great.”

I wasn’t really worried about meeting Phil Donahue “the man”, but I was scared to death to meet Phil Donahue the talk show host.  For anyone that remembers his show, his format was simple.  He would interview you pointedly and directly then literally run around the audience with mike in hand and ask controversial questions.   Boy, I was going to have to be on my “A Game.”  And equally important, there was no way to know which questions he would ask and worse how the audience would react.

My pickup was scheduled at 11:00 AM.  I got up early and looked in the mirror --of course I wanted to look fabulous!  I had purposely brought my “That Girl” wardrobe with me.  For those of you who don’t know – “That Girl” was a TV show that starred Marlo Thomas who happened to be married to Phil Donahue. 

At 10:00 I was at the Beauty Salon asking them to merely “cut my bangs.”  By 11:00 I was ready to head to the station.  I was wearing a cute little red dress with an adorable hat.  My makeup was impeccable + I purposely made sure my brown eyes stood out.

I had done several TV shows previously, so I knew the routine.  After the initial “hellos” to a variety of assistants, you are invited into “the green room” to watch the show that was being taped at that moment.    This day was no different.

I was ushered into the Green Room and watched the show. The audience was packed and the stage had a very scruffy looking man with a bandana performing with his band.  I had no idea who he was.  The song ended and the audience clapped fervently while Mr. Donahue said, “Thank you Willie Nelson.”  I still had no idea who he was. 

(As a sideline, there are times I think I’ve lived in a cocoon or better yet I was so focused on what I was achieving, I really did not pay attention to much else.)

Anyway, a few minutes later, in walked Jane the Producer with all smiles.  Less than 5 minutes later, in walked “the scruffy guy” and Phil Donahue.  He was incredibly warm and friendly.   He asked several times, “Have we met before?”  I sweetly smiled and said, “I don’t think so.”  I knew we had not.   He commented, “Boy you look so familiar.”  Of course I did, I looked like his wife!!!  My strategy had worked!

Phil invited me to lunch with he and Willie Nelson.  Basically they both asked me questions about UCW and its success!  It was a great lunch --easy and fun.  “OK, I might be over the nerves,”  I thought.

I went back to the hotel and started going over the segments.  My assistant Karen was due in @ 9:00 PM.  The next day, WJJ and the rest of the entourage were coming in and we were taping the following day.

About 6:30 I decided to go to the restaurant in the hotel for dinner.  I was walking with the Maitre D headed towards my table, when Mr. Donahue spotted me and asked if I would like to join him for dinner.  He was seated with another gentleman whose back was to me.

I, of course, graciously accepted.  As I was seated, I realized the gentleman was Henry Kissinger.  Oh my God.  I was now with one of the most interesting men in the world.  Well, to best describe my reaction...  Do you remember the scene out of Pretty Woman where Julia Roberts “flips” the escargot and says virtually nothing?  Well that was me that night.

No, I didn’t mess up my dinner but I sat there in awe of the conversation about World Leaders.  I mean seriously, I wasn’t going to talk about peek-a-boo undies or corselets with the former Secretary of State.  Though Mr. Donahue did mention my business and Secretary Kissinger did ask a couple of question, bottom line is I was more enthralled with listening to the conversation.

It was amazing!  While one might not think Secretary Kissinger was attractive --when listening to him he became the most desirable man on earth.  He was brilliance at its best.

I excused myself before dessert --being very grateful I had not made a blunder and went upstairs.  Yes in one day, I had met Phil Donahue, had lunch with Willie Nelson and had dinner with Henry Kissinger.  Not bad for a young girl from Lawrence Massachusetts!!  

Only one thing left --to actually do the Show!

Donahue Show - Part II

As I shared with you in last week’s blog, suddenly my hard work had paid off and I was going to appear on The Donahue Show.  Jane, the producer, wanted me to arrive a couple of days in advance in order to go over the format.

Filled with a combination of confidence and trepidation, I boarded the plan to Chicago in First Class thanks to Mr. Donahue.  In “the old days”, it was not often that a female would be seated alone in first class.  So often, I was seated next to a man.

This flight was no exception. 

I had traveled for UCW often and usually I had a male plane partner. So after the “getting settled” phase and the name introduction, my “companion” asked a question that I had heard often, “So, are you a flight attendant?”  OK so an attractive early thirtysomething woman, it was assumed that I could only be traveling first class if I was an Attendant.  Without volunteering any information, I would answer, “No, I’m not.”  Most often, they would then ask, “Is your husband a pilot?””  (Obviously they knew I was married based on the wedding band --clever).  Again, I would say, “No he is not.”   Next response, “So what does your husband do?”  Of course, my husband had to be “paying my way”.  There’s no possibility that I could be young, well dressed and accomplished as well.  Course not.

By this time, I would get a bit “twirpy”.  “Actually I own a lingerie company.”  (Sorry WJJ, I wasn’t going to do the husband and wife thing --not to this jerk.)  Well, 9 times out of 10, my “male mate” would then use what he thought was the single most clever response in the world.  Can you guess what it was? 

He’d say, “Boy, I’d like to see you in YOUR lingerie.”

How crass!  How typical male!

At first, I got rather offended and then put them in their place by talking about the financial success of UCW.  But that got boring.

So in order to calm my nerves on this particular flight, I got creative.

I said, “Oh then you should visit our corporate headquarters”.   I continued,

“Yes at UndercoverWear all employees are compelled to wear our product each day.  We feel it is essential to establish espirit de corps by wearing some sort of lingerie to work.  It keeps us very focused on our product line.”

He said, “You’re kidding, right?”

Without skipping a beat, I said.  “Oh no, I’m dead serious.  Our receptionist wears a little corsellete --not too revealing -the female staff members can wear anything from baby dolls to chemises to even comfy pajamas.  We’ve developed a “Hugh Hefner” lounging set for the men to wear.”

I continued, “As owner, I really get to wear anything I want --from the ultra conservative to the barely nothing --of course certainly nothing completely sheer but a diaphanous long gown is usually my choice.”  The poor guy had no idea what diaphanous meant --but I could seem him picture “Playboy bunnies with big boobs wearing marabou slippers or better yet stiletto heesl walking around UCW.”

He so wanted to believe the story, he did.  Trust me, he was almost salivating.

This was fun.

He asked why I was going to Chicago and I of course I said that I was doing the Donahue show and he should really watch it so he could see our Corporate Attire.

Well Mr. Idiot Man fell hook, line and sinker.  He asked if he could visit UCW the next time he was in Boston.  I said, of course, but only if he would change into the Hefner loungewear.  He was more than happy to oblige.

Finally I arrived in Chicago with a limo waiting to pick me up for my big adventure.

I was staying at the Drake Hotel in a gorgeous suite.  Tomorrow I would be meeting Phil Donahue in person.  And today, I had just pulled off quite the little story on this poor innocent man.

Then I thought about it, oh my God, tomorrow I was meeting Phil Donahue and I had just taken great pleasure in lying to this poor unsuspecting innocent man.    Could that be “bad karma?”  Was Phil Donahue going to throw me out or worse embarrass me in front of hundreds of thousands of viewers. 

Damn, I wished I had taken this guy’s business card to tell him I was only kidding. 

So I did what every good Catholic girl does when faced with a dilemma.   I made a deal with God.  I promised I would NEVER tell that story to another persona again IF I had a good interview on the Donahue Show. 

Guess what?  Evidently God listened.  I never could tell that story again. 

Getting on the Donahue Show

Since my celebrity blog was posted, many of my friends have asked me to elaborate on that list.  They want to know whom I liked and whom I disliked.  Hmmm, not sure I’m supposed to write anything “nasty”, so I’m going to stick to a few comments about those  people that I really enjoyed.

My number one favorite was Phil Donahue.   But before I can share with you why I liked him so much, it’s important to know the background story.  The “lead up” to how I actually appeared on his show was both fascinating and frustrating. 

Because of UndercoverWear, I had been featured on virtually every “talk show” in America.  But at the time, the number one daytime show was “Donahue.”  As I was doing UCW’s PR, I continually attempted to get on the show.  Their Executive producer, a gal named Jane, had no desire to have a “sexy lingerie” company being featured. 

Now let me bring you back a bit.  The year was 1983 and women were “burning their bras”, saying that they wanted to be treated the same as men. Part of the fashion statement was NOT looking sexy or even feminine.  Women were wearing pinstriped pants with matching jackets, white shirts and ties and flat loafers.  It was not only about “equal pay for equal job” --with which I wholeheartedly agreed --it was “we don’t need men.”

Of course I completely disagreed.  My favorite line was and still is –“When men can have babies --then we will be the same.”  Plus, “ I will compete with a man in the Boardroom but not in the Bedroom. “  Obviously, Gloria Steinem and I had a very different philosophy.

Anyway, Jane the Executive Producer wanted no part of UCW.  Every so often I would actually get her on the phone and she was as cold as ice cubes.  The more I tried, the more annoyed she got.  The answer was, “no.”  Phil Donahue was NOT interested in UCW or me.   Well, anyone who knows me realizes I don’t understand “no.” Jane reluctance simply spurred me on.  I would get on that show.

WJJ, Jamie and I were in Hawaii for Jamie’s spring break.  I found out that Evening Magazine, the syndicated show, was going to “rerun” our segment nationally.  So I developed my strategy.  Somehow I found out where Mr. Donahue lived.  No, I didn’t fly to Chicago and sit on his doorstep.  Instead I simply sent him a blind telegram saying,  “Mr. Donahue, Please watch Evening Magazine tonight.”

I had no idea if he would get the telegram or more importantly watch the show.  Plus back then each one-hour show was divided into four segments - 13 minutes each.  What if Phil watched the show and got excited about one of the other segments?  Maybe my thought process was flawed.  I’d just have to wait and see.

I didn’t have to wait long.  My assistant Karen knew how hard I had tried to get on the Donahue Shoe.  Well lo and behold at 6 AM Hawaii time (the earliest she felt comfortable phoning,  Karen called me.   She said, “I’ve been waiting for hours to call you.”  She literally was crying tears of joy and continued. “You’ll never guess who called this morning?”

Calmly and confidently I responded.” The Donahue Show. “ She screamed, “ Yes!  How did you know?”  I responded “Lucky Guess”.   Karen said, “Jane wants you to call her today.  They want you on the show. “

Perfect.  Just as I had planned.  Now strategy number 2 --I had to think about my objective.  As you know a “working philosophy” of mine is “OO”  -- I am “Objective Oriented.” I purposely did not call immediately.  Didn’t want to seem over anxious. Remember I held the secret.  I knew Jane didn’t want us on the show but obviously,

Phil did.

So I called about an hour and half later.   Jane’s entire demeanor had changed.  She was so very warm and friendly.   She said something like” You know Tiffany I’ve been thinking and I’ve decided that UCW might be a good segment for the show.”  She continued, “I’d like to give you the opportunity of doing the Donahue Show.  As you know, we have 4 different guests and you would have a 13 minute spot and we are going to feature you during ratings week. This should very exciting for you.” 

Now most people would have been thrilled.  But Jane slipped up.  And being a very good listener, I heard it loudly and clearly.  Oh yes, I knew Donahue wanted us - but most importantly, he wanted us on ratings week.

 Again I say to you, remember, UndercoverWear was the talk of the country.  Nobody was doing home lingerie shows in Middle America featuring everything “from the ultra conservative to the barely nothing and much, much less.  According to Playboy, UCW was part of the sexual revolution of the 80’s.  (Of course all I wanted to do was make some extra money)

Anyway, being either incredibly gutsy or really dumb, I decided to “roll the dice”.  So I said, “You know  Jane, I’ve thought about it  and frankly UCW cannot tell our story in 13 minutes.  We have to chat about the company, take our Sensuality Test, show the lingerie and feature our top $$$ earners.   That will take the full hour show. “

Jane was momentarily silent  --obviously stunned and then said, “ No, absolutely not.’ I responded, “I’m so sorry to hear that.  I really was looking forward to doing the show.  Perhaps another time.  Jane, if you change your mind, please call me directly,” and I gave her the Hawaii phone number.

We hung up.  I nearly died. Oops, perhaps I made an error.  Jane didn’t call back.  Well not that day.  Two long unbearable days later, she called.  They would give us “two segments.”  Obviously, Jane and I were not speaking the same language.  Again, I said no.  This time it only took Jane 1 day to call back.  Yes, we would have the full hour. Yes, they would fly WJJ, Karen and me to Chicago First Class (and of course cover our accommodations.) Yes, we would do a fashion show using professional models.  OOOPS --I said “no” again.  By now poor Jane realized I was in the drivers seat.  She was aghast when I said I wanted to use our UCW Agents NOT professional models --because our company was based on “real women” in Middle America being part of UndercoverWear.  We wanted “Super Moms not Super Models.’

So this was Part One of my Phil Donahue Show story.  We were going to be on for the full hour.  Hooray for me.  But Part Two starts with “Holy crap” what have I done?

Phil Donahue can be really controversial.  Is he going to start lambasting me about how I am anti- women’s lib.  Is he going to make me cry repenting “I’m so sorry I wear lingerie.????”

I suddenly was reminded of the old adage, be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.  I was going to be on the Phil Donahue Show!