Finding Strength

I just came back from Vancouver Canada.   Fortunately on my way back, I slept for a couple of hours.  WJJ picked me up from the airport and we enjoyed a lovely dinner out.  The next day, I did some UCW work then watched some TV and then fell asleep for nearly 3 hours.  Went to bed about 10:00 PM and slept till 6:00 AM.  I couldn’t believe how tired I was.  So I decided to look at my last six weeks and figure out why I am so exhausted.

Here goes:

• 14 Social Events - Three of which were “Black Tie”.
• Did an UndercoverWear Party ($3,000)
• Christmas
• New Year’s Eve Party which we hosted for about 70 people
• Launching of 2011 UCW Year of 1000 Stars
• Launching UCW  “Star Action Teams”
• Art Class
• Working Out
• Phone Meetings
• Grocery Shopping
• Christmas Shopping
• Jamie, Cheryl and Niccie here for 2 weeks  (Boy that 7 year old has a lot of energy)
• Fluffing and Buffing
• WJJ time
• Time with Family and Friends “who needed me”
• Trip to Vancouver for 3 days

Wow I am amazing.  Truly amazing.  No wonder I’m so tired.

But the truth of the matter is I have absolutely no desire or right to complain.  I was really no busier than anyone else.  And most importantly, the “stuff” on my plate is nothing compared to others.

Let me share with you why I traveled to Vancouver.  Unfortunately, the Mother of a dear friend of mine (and UCW Leader) passed away on Christmas Eve.  The wake and funeral were this past week.

My friend Yvonne has had a really bad  - no, horrible - 3 months.  First, her newborn grandbaby was rushed to the hospital and they were told she probably would not survive.  As Yvonne was enveloped with fear, her doctors called and said that the results of Yvonne’s CAT scan were in.  She had two aneurisms that had to be operated on immediately.  All the while, her Mother was in the hospital getting worse by the day.  Through the grace of God, Haley survived and is doing well (I met her last week) and Yvonne got through the operation with flying colors.

 Then, her Mother passed away on December 24^th.   The tribute to Anna (Yvonne’s Mother) was inspirational.  She had fostered 75 children her lifetime.  She and her husband Burt had adopted 14 of them.  While Yvonne and her bother Michael were “natural” children, Anna and Burt never differentiated.  The woman was amazing.  And it showed with the immense number of people that filled the church at her funeral Mass.

The last six weeks were not really great for many of those people close to my heart.

I choose not to go into detail, but suffice it to say there have continued to be “life and death situations” continually.    And while I hope I have offered comfort and words of wisdom, I cannot feel as they do.  They are the ones that must endure. 

Friedrich Nietzsche a German Philosopher, said something to the effect of, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”  While that is not particularly encouraging, sometimes it’s true.

But I’d like to get back to Yvonne again.  She’s had a rough time.  But let me share with you what my Mother said as she was going through her last battle with Cancer.

“Girls, if anything happens to me I know you’ll be sad.”  But I absolutely do not want you three to sit there and cry hysterically at my wake or funeral.”  I didn’t raise whiny, wussy daughters.   I have had a wonderful life.  And if it’s my time to go so be it.  As long as I go before my children and they go before their children then we are blessed.   That, my dear Daughters, is the Circle of Life.”

It’s too bad some of you never met my Mother.  She was quite remarkable.

You would have really liked her. 

And so each day, we proceed and hopefully enjoy some laughter and some fun.

And when we encounter the days of sadness, we should actually embrace our good fortune.   A tear is simply a reminder of the love we feel in our hearts.

So with that, I think I’ll go have a vodka martini!  Cheers!

Happy New Day!

I’ll bet you all thought I had run away to Pago Pago never to be found again. Yes, I know it’s been awhile since my last blog.

Well as interesting as that might be, truth be known, I’ve been here in Hawaii --just a tad bit busy.  Of course, everyone is busy during the Holiday Season but because of a few unexpected “setbacks”, the last two weeks have been interesting.  I’ll tell yourmore about that later.

I don’t want you to think I have not done my “blogs.”.  In fact I have.  I did a great Christmas Blog and New Years Blog.  That’s the good news!  The bad news is, I didn’t have time to edit them so I never posted them!  Now one might think of that as a “challenge”, while I view it as a great benefit.   “Why?” you ask.

Because I am now way ahead of the “Blog game”  I have next year’s Christmas and New Year’s Blogs done!!!  Wahoo!!!!

Speaking of New Year’s --I must tell you, WJJ and I had a really great party on New Year’s Eve.   The theme was “the Stars of Hawaii”, and I must say it was one of our better efforts.   As always, what made the party so successful were the guests!  Everyone looked fabulous and they were indeed the stars of the evening.

Of course I must admit,  having two full bars available, great food,  live entertainment downstairs and a disco upstairs certainly added to the festivities.

I don’t often boast about our parties, but this one was pretty exceptional.

Now, I’d like to share my newest revelation.  On January 1^st, many of my friends and family called to say, ‘Happy New Year.”  As you know, each January, we all look ahead with our goals and resolutions.  We decide what changes we want to make and how we want to “mold” our life.  This year, it was a new month,  new year and new decade.

But I have a different outlook for 2011.  While speaking with my sisters Charlene and Chris, I shared with them that I am going to wish them a Happy New DAY--every single day of 2011!  The fact of the matter is every day counts.  Every day that we don’t shed a tear, we should rejoice.  Every day we should laugh and do one thing that makes us incredibly happy.  Every day we should do something for others,

Every day, we should be able to say “Happy New Day”.  Why should we only wish each other joy, happiness, health, love and prosperity once a year?

So for me from now on --every blog will start with Happy New Day!!!!



Quest for Holiday Perfection!

Last week, WJJ and I went to a wonderful champagne tasting event with a few of our favorite friends.  It was really wonderful.  There were several bottles of exquisite champagne.  We all savored every drop.  One of my favorite “dinner partners”, Mark, commented that despite all the Holiday activities, I seemed so relaxed.  I said I had just said the same thing to WJJ.  And I assumed it was because we are not going on a cruise in January.  Usually aside from all the hustle and bustle of Christmas, I’m packing MANY boxes to be shipped for our glamorous and long voyage.

I said, “You know Mark, I feel so amazing calm --it’s unbelievable.”  Obviously, it was the champagne talking.  Because that night, I woke up at 2:30 AM and went to the bathroom every 15 minutes.  No I didn’t have a UTI, I had HLA  --Holiday List Anxiety!  Oh the reason, I kept going to my bathroom is because that’s where I keep my “middle of the night idea” notebook.

What was I thinking?  Sure, I had finished most of my Christmas shopping but I have a zillion things to do.  And they all have a deadline.   So following my own advice I did readjust my Top Priorities and took several deep breathes.  I also eliminated a few things -that just weren’t going to get done.

You know someone once told me that I should write a book entitled, “How to run your life like a Business.”  Because evidently that’s what I do.  Frankly it seems to work.   But staying balance while reaching your goals and keeping your sanity, doesn’t just happen.  You have to truly discipline yourself to stay focused.

We also have to abandon our “super woman syndrome.”  Remember the old adage, we can make some of the people happy all of the time or all the people happy some of the times but we can’t make all the people happy all of the times.  All too often we strive for perfection in every aspect of our lives.  And that’s impossible. So we feel like a failure.  And that doesn’t feel good at all.

We lose sight of what is import and what isn’t.  For example, if we are making a Gingerbread House with our children is it really that important how it turns out? Or is the importance the time we spend together as a family?  I learned that lesson many years ago.  For 3 consecutive years, Jamie and I made Gingerbread Houses.  Each year, the result was more beautiful. 

Evidently, the next year, I was rushed and somehow I “messed up” the frosting.  As I tried to attach the cookies -the damn things wouldn’t “stick”. Time after time I tried.  I added more confectionary sugar --still no luck.  Of course Jamie was long gone knowing that I was crossing the threshold of Holiday Insanity, so he went to watch TV with WJJ!  Thank the Lord, it hit me like a ton of bricks --who cares.  I brought Jamie back with Elmer’s Glue in hand.  Laughing hysterically, we glued all the cookies onto the Gingerbread House.  It was one of our best experiences.  Of course we did put a sign “Do Not Eat.”  Truth be known, we almost allowed one of my “not so nice” aunts to actually eat a cookies drenched in glue, but at the last moment my sense of Christmas goodness emerged! 

So stay focused on why Christmas is Christmas.  It’s all about goodness and giving and the spirit of joy. Trust me ladies, we’ll get through this together.

BTW,  several of you have already guessed from a previous blog, I am the Crazy Chick trying to lose 5 pounds before Christmas --but I’m not alone --am I?

Holiday Shopping Tips!

OK  I promised you some simple suggestion to help you keep your sanity in the next three weeks.  Oh perhaps reminding you that Christmas is 21 days away, wasn’t particularly calming.  Oh well sorry, but that is the reality.

During my last blog, I suggested that you better get organized.  Hopefully, you took my advice.  If you did not, then I’m going to have to say it again.  For the busy woman who has lots to accomplish, getting organized is a MUST!

I’m going to guess that Christmas Shopping is on your list.  When it comes to buying gifts, there are 3 essential components: 

1.  Decide how much you want to spend

2. Decide what you want to buy 

3. Determine how much time it will take to find or create the right item.  

In other words: Thought, Time and Money.

So let me explain that further.

Thought --Really thinking about what the person wants.  Sometimes, it has nothing to do with how much money you want to spend.  One year Nancy, our VP of sales  gave me 25 different  and unique cards that I could send out throughout the year.  I loved it!  In turn, the following year, I bought my Mother a plethora of all occasion  cards  so she would have them at her fingertips.  She, too, loved that gift!

Nancy also sends me her date-nut bread every year.  I LOVE it!  (Hopefully Nancy is reading my blog and will get my subtle hint!)

It really makes me laugh when someone says, “What can you buy someone who has everything.”  That’s ridiculous.    I can name 100 things that I love receiving.  And the price ranges start at $3.00.   I’ll bet your saying, “no way.”  Way!  Shall I prove it?

Example:  As most of you know, I love sending notes.  I have to use “the right pen.”

One that I like is a Pilot .  Cost --less than $3.00

So you really have to think about “what would this person really appreciate?” 

Time--As mentioned, some of the best gifts are things that cannot be purchased. 

Before UndercoverWear, I gave WJJ a “Fantasy Fishbowl” for Christmas.  I put 52 different “fantasies” --some sensual --others not.  I won’t go into the Sensual ones, but the others were things like, “I’ll say I’m sorry --even if I’m not.”  And, “ I’ll watch a John Wayne movie with you without complaining.”  Anyway, that was one of his best gifts. 

When we were first married because we could not afford to spend money, I decided to make all the Christmas gifts.  In fact I, who cannot sew a stitch, bought a sewing machine and made WJJ a velvet smoking jacket. Of course no one told me that with velvet you have to “watch the knap”, so one sleeve had the velvet going the wrong way. However, believe it or not,  he still has that jacket.  If you’re saying, “But you bought a sewing machine,” let me tell you I also made the curtains, made the throw pillow, and even made Jamie’s little Easter Outfit-- a brown one piece “little boy” jumpsuit with a white jacket.  I have the photos to prove it.  Maybe on Jamie’s 40^th birthday I’ll do a special blog where I show all these embarrassing pictures of him!

 So, think about those on your list.  If you’re “buying” for a Mother of 3 young ones, I’m gonna guess volunteering to babysit for an afternoon would be worth a zillion $$$ to her.   When you’re giving “gifts from the heart”, often it takes time.  And we all know that time is a precious commodity.  So you are giving the most valuable gift of all.

Money--This is easy.  Money can buy great gifts.  However, when those credit cards come in --not quite so pleasant.  Always decide exactly what your budget is.  And don’t overspend!  Stick to the budget.  Although, I always disliked giving gift cards, it seems everybody loves them.  So if your budget is $25.00 then give a $25.00 gift card.  And as you probably know, at many places you can set your own dollar amount -even $5.00 (like Starbucks).  As an FYI, when you’re purchasing a Visa or Amex gift card, you do have to pay 3%. Extra.  So you might want to consider simply giving a check. 

If you have a higher budget for a special friend or relative, still get creative.  Several years ago,   I gave Jamie and Cheryl, my sisters and a couple of close friends  six different wines. The prices ranged from $10.00 up to $50.00 a bottle.  I made a list of each wine with the price.  Then , I removed all labels and simply marked the bottles numbered 1 - 6.  The recipients had to drink the wine and then tell me which wine they thought they were drinking.  My sisters and friends loved the “game”, Jamie said, “Only my mother would take the fun out of drinking.”  Oh well.  I still love idea.

Another great gift idea -which is easy --Omaha Steaks. They have GREAT deals. Look in your Sunday paper and/or online at www.omahasteaks.com.  The Omaha Reserved Steaks are incredible!

If you’re thinking about creating “gift baskets” --especially UndercoverWear spa baskets --that’s a great idea.  But when assessing your budget, if you’re shipping the item --add that cost to your budget.  Here in Hawaii, shipping is very costly.

Another gift idea that most people love is “monogrammed anything”.  I often do “bath baskets” with UCW items and monogrammed towels + of course our “It’s a Wrap”.  Instead of ordering the towel monogrammed which can be expensive, we’ve found a fellow who does monogramming quickly and quite reasonably.

So let’s recap: 

Get Organized

Make Your Christmas Shopping List 

Go through each person think about what THEY would truly appreciate.

Decided what you can afford to spend and then get creative!

Make this Christmas Shopping a fun experience not a chore!

Take that Stress off your Plate

As we get closer and closer to Christmas, I’m hearing , “Oh my gosh, I’m so stressed.

I have way too much on my plate!”  OK ladies think about that.  Life is like a buffet line.  If there’s too much on your plate, you put it there.

I have the feeling you are now screaming at me.  “What?  Are you nuts?” That’s my life.  I have a lot to do.  I have a shocker for you.  Everybody has lot to do. --Well at least every woman I know has a lot to do.  I can’t make this sexist, but I recently called my sisters after experiencing a very hectic day (while WJJ was golfing) and said, “Next time, I’m coming back as a Gay Guy”.  I can still be feminine when I want to, have a gorgeous hunky boyfriend and not do all this “wife-mother-social director-chef-business woman” stuff

Anyway, let’s get back to what’s on your plate during the Holiday Season.  Over the last week here are some examples of what’ I’ve heard.

Mary:  I really need to wallpaper the guest room, Dave’s parents are coming for the Holidays.

Holly: Billy’s school is having a bake sale, so I have to spend the day making Christmas cupcakes.

Terri: I haven’t really eaten in 3 days because I’m trying to loose 5 pounds before Christmas.

Nora: I bought some hair color stuff at CVS, because I don’t have time to go to the hairdresser and get my roots done.

Shelly: I’m going to make all the food myself for our Christmas Party --I want it to be really special.

Carol: I have absolutely no time to even think about my “Christmas letter and cards” but I have to send them. People are so eager to read what’s happened to me this year -and it’s not pleasant.

Sally: I want to start an exercise program before the holidays.

All these Ladies are officially welcome to my “Crazy Club”.  Are they  crazy?

Mary:  You’ve been married to Dave for 15 years.  You never got along with Dave’s Mother.  New wallpaper isn’t going to change that.  Take it off your plate

Holly:  Buy plain cupcakes (cheaper) buy some small Christmas decoration or red “sprinkles” take 5 minutes to make them look like Christmas,  put them on one of your fancy dishes and swear you made them.  Take it off your plate.

Terri: Good plan --not eating, and drinking only coffee and diet coke. That will calm you down.  Not enough stress going --add that.  My advice--go eat a donut (not chocolate) and take it off your plate.

Nora:  So when you screw up your hair and have to spend hours having it fixed - or worse, look horrid for the holiday, how are you going to feel?  You know what?  I think you can fit in a couple of hours for YOU!  Book that hair appointment now and Take it off your plate.

Shelly:  Go to Costco or BJ’s and go food shopping.  Then stop at the “beverage department” and get some good wine.   The food will be great and after a couple of glasses of wine, it will taste even better.  Trust me, everyone will love your party.  Take it off your Plate

Carol:  If you haven’t even started thinking about Christmas cards --don’t !  Instead wait and send everyone a New Year’s card .  And while I understand that you have experienced  an incredibly miserable year --those of us close to you have been feeling and listening to  your pain for 52 weeks.  Yes, we can give you every detail about your now ex-husband and his big boob blond girlfriend who is 23 years younger than him or you.  Trust me we don’t need to read about it.  And do you really want to share all your “bad news” to others over the holiday season?  Nope, it will only depress you more.  So send a cheery Happy New Year’s Card the week AFTER Christmas so you can Take it Off your Plate.

Sally:  If you haven’t exercised in the last 49 weeks, do you think that perhaps you might want to wait until after the New Year?  Put it on your 2011 Goal Sheet and for now - Take It Off Your Plate.

Ok now that I am lecturing everyone, truth be known, the names I have given you are false --to protect “the guilty.”  And ladies, I am President of the “Are you Crazy Club” because I am one of these ladies.  Not telling you which one --but I bet you can guess?

So for the first time ever, I don’t want to invite you to join my club.  Instead, take a deep breath and decide what you can “Take Off Your Plate.”

Holiday Stress Test!

On a yearly basis, we as woman undergo a series of tests.  We test our eyesight, our hearing and we even have the dreaded mammogram and Pap smear.  All of these tests are designed to determine if we are A - OK.

But do you know that each and every year, we  undergo a crucial test to measure our mental stability?  I’ll bet you’re thinking, “I don’t remember taking a mental stability test.”  Ok think again.

This test takes place each and every year starting the week before Thanksgiving and ending the week after New Year’s Eve.  It’s called the Holiday Insanity Test.  This is the ultimate test to see if we are capable of maintaining our sanity against all odds.

The Holiday Season is supposed to be filled with joy and happiness.  But we all know, it can be incredibly busy, emotional and stressful.   But we’re supposed to be singing “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”?  Boy the dichotomy is obvious.

We started saying things like, “I’m tired, I’m irritable and have so much to do.”  As the days progress it’s “I’m not going to get everything done before Christmas.”  Then we start getting personal.  “My husband does nothing, the kids want everything and my boss is a pain where I sit.”  You know you’re ready to crack when you finally say,  “I hate the Holiday Season.”

Do you really want to be Halloween Hilda’s Wicked Whiny Witch or Scrooges Ba Hum Bug Bitch? No no, nay nay.

You really can turn this Season of Stress into Holiday Happiness.   The solution is simple.  Try the 3 V diet.  Vitamins, vodka and valium.   OK I’m really just joking.  Can’t mix vodka and valium – so take your choice. 

In all seriousness, if you want the Holiday season to be easy then all you have to do is GO  GO  GO!!  No, I don’t mean start running around shopping, I mean GO --GET Organized.  No, I can already hear you saying, “I don’t have time to get organized.”

Trust me you can’t afford NOT to get organized.  Remember in every situation, success is 90% preparation and 10% execution.  In the next few days I’ll start giving  you some  EZ organizational tips to allow you to enjoy the Holiday Season.

So get your paper and pencils or computers ready and put aside a couple of hours to begin the process.  Yes, you actually have to allocate that time to get organized--that is your first step!  And start your thinking process with the following:

What are the most important things I want and/or need to do for this Holiday Season?  Your list can include things like:

Christmas Shopping

Christmas Cards

Christmas Party

Home Improvement for the Holidays

Decorate House

Christmas Eve

Christmas Day

Fluff and Buff

Family Fun

New Year’s Eve

New Year’s Day

Romance Time (Don’t laugh)

Personal Fun (Don’t laugh again)

Botox

Charity Work

Church

Baking

Once the list is completed, congratulate yourself --you now have your Holiday Sanity Goal Sheet!  And we’re off!!!!



Best Customer Ever!

For some reason I started thinking about how UndercoverWear first began and how many shows I did.  As you may know, I started doing parties and then a Boston Herald reporter decided to do an article on the concept of bringing “naughty nighties” into Middle America’s living rooms.  It was a two-page full color article.  Needless to say, our phone was ringing constantly. Everyone wanted to have a party.

For the first few weeks after the article appeared, I never knew where I was going or what type of environment I would be in.  I did shows in split-level suburban homes as well as 3 tenement inner city homes and everything in between.  I did shows in perfectly neat and organized homes to shows where if the hostess offered me a glass of water, I politely declined.  I ran the gamut in every direction.   Back then there was no GPS.   So, I simply got in my car and drove--often times getting lost, but finally reaching my destination.

One of my parties was booked at Harbor Towers in Boston which is a high rise condominium complex right on the Boston Waterfront.  I knew this was going to be a very nice place and hopefully a great party. The hostesses name was Samantha* and I determined she was approximately my age (which was 28). She told me she would have about 10 of her friends and that I should be there about 6:30.  She was incredibly sweet pleasant over the phone.   She also mentioned that I should simply park my car and let the doorman know I was going to her home and that the doorman and her husband would bring in my lingerie etc.

That was the plan and I followed it.  When the doorman let me in, I was surprised to find out that Samantha lived in the Penthouse.  I went upstairs and Samantha greeted me as warmly as I had expected.  Her husband Todd* was equally friendly and ironically was Polish (like my husband) so we instantly had a great  rapoire. Samantha was delightful, bright, beautiful and articulate.  Her husband was much more basic but very nice.  Based on the fact that their apartment was gorgeous and there was a butler serving champagne and caviar (which by the way I had never tasted in my life), it was easy to see that this couple was doing quite well financially.

Samantha’s friends were equally delightfully and the show was wonderful.  Nine gals were there and each bought about $100.  So my show was close to $1000!  Think back –it was 1977—that was a fabulous SHOW!

After more champagne, caviar, shrimp and a plethora of other fantastic food and desserts, the attendees started to leave.  I, too, was ready to go home, but Samantha and Todd kept saying that one more guest was expected.  By this time, I really wanted to leave, but I didn’t want to “insult” my gracious host and hostess. 

At about 10:30 the doorman announced that Brian* was on his way up.  Obviously, Brian was a close friend because the doorman just let him in.

Brian arrived with his date—a gorgeous young 21 year old blond.

After the introductions, Brian said to me,  “Tiffany take Jessica in and let her try anything she wants –and Jessica show me how you look in it.”  For the next hour and a half Jessica tried just about every piece of lingerie I had available in her size. Of course she looked gorgeous in just about everything. But I was getting rather tired and wanted to leave.  Plus neither Brian or Jessica had chosen one item yet to buy.  If time is money, my money was being spent quickly. 

As the butler opened yet another bottle of champagne, Brian finally said to Jessica, “So what do you want”  Jessica answered, “Whatever you want to buy me”.  I really wanted to say, “Just make a decision so I can go home”

Brian started, “OK well put this aside and this aside and this aside etc.”   He had about 25 pieces ranging from corselettes to long gowns to peignoir sets to bras and garter belts to short baby dolls.  Now I figure we had to go through the elimination process. I was going to be there all night.

Finally after all the “maybes” were put together, Brian said, “Tiffany, how much?”  I replied, “I’m sorry which pieces?”  He said “All that I’ve  chosen.”

I said, “Everything?”  He said, “Yes of course.  But I want a 10% discount.”  Well that was certainly a no brainier.

Brian spent over $2,000 and proceeded to hand me 20 $100 bills.  He then gave me another $200 for being so nice!  I got his 10% discount! Hooray!

So my show was over $3,000 and I had a perfectly delightful time and made lots of $$$ Plus I got to meet Samantha and Todd and Brian and Jessica. It was a great night.

Postscript:  I got to see Brian and Todd again.  Unfortunately it was on the news.  Todd was convicted on selling “junk bonds” and Brian was convicted on mob crimes.  I later found out Brian was Head of the Boston Mafia.  Oh well, I am an equal opportunity lingerie salesperson.  Thank you Brian and Todd! (And just to be safe….I’ve changed ALL the names in this story!!!)

 Post-Postscript.  I believed my Harbor Tower adventure was gone forever.   However, I was wrong.  After college, while working at another company that obviously paid him well,  my son Jamie lived at the opposite Harbor Tower in the penthouse.  While I didn’t visit him often, I should tell you about the time that I inadvertently broke into his apartment (thanks to the Security Guard) thinking he was sleeping ---alone --and as you guessed it --he wasn’t!  Ahh another Tiffany/Harbor Tower story.   Perhaps Jamie would much rather share that one with you.  All I can say is like Brian and Todd, I proclaim my innocence!!!!!