How to add some "Bedroom Magic"

As the cold weather arrives across North America – we’re all getting ready to spend more time indoors.  So, if we have to be stuck indoors, we might as well make it fun!  So let’s start decorating your bedroom to ensure that it is “Romance Friendly” and compatible to both of you.

The very first thing we want to do is look at the colors in your bedroom

 

Try to use only “man friendly” colors like Deep Green, Gold, Brown, Black, Burgundy, Navy or even plain old dark beige.  Stay away from any prints on your bedspread.  Once you’ve got the basic color, you can add your pretty pastels and prints via throw pillows, draperies and even accent pieces.  If your bedspread is plain Burgundy, then you can add some pink throw pillows as well floral pink, green and burgundy floral patterned ones as well.

I don’t think most women want mirrors on the ceiling, but if the room permits you may want to have a large mirrored wall behind the bed.  It will certainly make him happy, but it will also make your room look larger.  No, it won’t make him look larger but it will help the room. If the room is not conducive to a mirrored wall, make sure you get a full length standing mirror. When company visits, it will appear to be a decorative. Plus it will be useful to use when dressing.   Truth be known, you’ll later discover just how important it is when making love.

If you love candles- put them on display.  Get the large bulky candles in any color you wish.  You can live dangerously and even get pastel pink, green or blue.  But make it bulky –remember it’s bedroom trickery.  Again, you are combining masculinity, sensuality and femininity. Make sure you keep an UndercoverWear Soy Candle close to the bed.  That’s not about decoration, that’s about pleasure.

Make sure the bedroom is clean and neat.  This is more for YOUR benefit than his. For some reason, your sense of romance turns off quite quickly when you are looking at his pile of dirty clothes with his underwear and socks on top.

Now let’s go over some some basic “do’s and don’ts for decorating the Bedroom:

Don’t have your collection of “Precious Moments” or figurines on display. Way too cute and sweet.  If you’re going to collect something, try things like miniature high heels or “sexy” perfume bottles.  Most men will not mind that display.

Do display a great “couple” photo of the two of you.  Make sure he looks especially handsome. And don’t put the wedding photo in plain sight of the bed.  In fact, you should probably keep it out of the bedroom completely.  You don’t need to see the two of you 20 years younger and 20 pounds thinner.

Do have a nice chair or valet stand for him to place his clothes.  If you don’t know what a valet stand –it is a “manly” piece of furniture that will allow him to hang his shirt and pants in a convenient way. 

Do have a radio or CD player near the bed and put on romantic sexy music.

Do get a set of sheets with matching pillowcases and have them monogrammed.  This is a really inexpensive way to make the bed “feel” special.  Use the initial of your married last name as the center with the first name initials on either side   This reinforces HIS ego.  Amazing how much thought has to go into this, isn’t it?  Or if you prefer, you can monogram your first names on the pillowcase.  That’s just plain old cute.

Do buy some unusual sexy HOT fabrics. Consider red, purple, hot pink, or any animal print.  (No, they don’t have to actually match the bedroom décor. And you don’t have to hem them.  You will only use them for your Bedroom Magic Nights.)  I assure you, Martha Stewart will not be conducting a “spot check” on your bedroom that evening. 

Do make sure your fabrics are machine washable so you can use them again.  (Okay that’s the practical, thrifty side of me.)

Don’t keep your personal things like hairbrushes, combs etc in the bedroom.

Don’t keep family photos in the bedroom. When he’s on top of you making mad passionate love, and he looks down, he doesn’t want to see the kids, the grandkids, or even worse a photo of your parents staring at him.

Don’t put the TV on during your nights of romance.  In fact if at all possible, don’t even have a TV in the bedroom.  We always had a TV in the bedroom until recently. Guess what, we actually tend to “talk” a bit before going to sleep.  Talking not watching TV, now there’s a novel idea.   By the way, the same thing goes for your computer.  All of those are my favorites “technology taboo’s” in the bedroom.

 If your bedroom screams out “Victorian” and your man hasn’t complained, then for the time being leave it that way. But, go to a fabric store and buy those  unusual HOT fabrics to create a more sensuous environment. 

While your splurging on sexy bedroom accessories, think about a sexy rug.  You know the same colors as your HOT fabrics.  The good thing about a rug is you can roll it up and put in away when company arrives.  Again, this is not meant as a decorative accessory –this is only for your Bedroom Magic nights.

So those are some of the basic Do’s and Don’ts.  If you’re now saying, “Do I have to completely change my bedroom?   I don’t have the time or money or inclination to do so.”  Stop right now. This is not supposed to be a chore.  These are simply steps to help your relationship and equally important -your sex life.

The bottom line to all of this is, when it comes to decorating the bedroom, this is not the time to sing, “ I did it my way”.    Think compatibility.   While your husband may very well be oblivious to the current décor in your bedroom, let me tell you when that leopard fabric suddenly appears on the bed and the kids photos are gone and the computer has been removed, he will get the message that your bedroom is no longer just another boring room.  It will take on a whole new personality of it’s own.  And that personality includes fun, passion and excitement .



Words, Words, Words.

My new mantra is don’t waste time, don’t waste money and don’t waste words.

Have you noticed that some people simply talk too much.  Recently we had dinner with two other couples both of whom were doctors from England.  The wife was quite lovely.  The husband was a self centered egotist who obviously didn’t recognize that the definition of conversation is an informal INTERCHANGE of thoughts, information etc.    He simply executed a soliloquy.  At one point, I thought he was going to start saying, “Friends, Romans, and Countrymen lend me your ear.  I have come to bury Caesar not to praise him.”

We underestimate the importance of words.  They can heal, they can hurt and they can be simply useless. Words can protect you or attack you.  Words can never be taken back.   Harmless gossip is never harmless.  Oversharing is never helpful.

We’ve all heard the old adage that God gave us two ears and one mouth so that we could listen twice as much as we talk.  Obviously, some people haven’t figured that out.

In the musical “My Fair Lady” there is a song called, “Show Me.”  I have two favorite verses.  First, “Words! Words! I'm so sick of words! I get words all day through;
First from him, now from you! Is that all you blighters can do?”  And next, “Never do I ever want to hear another word. There isn't one I haven't heard.”

Don’t waste words.  Banal chatter is a waste of time.

And let me also add that with all the social networking around, perhaps one should realize that when you are on Facebook or sending emails --those are words - words for all the world to see. 

One of the most humorous incidents took place when one of the gals from UndercoverWear corporate went on Facebook saying she really disliked her “boss” and of courses posted it for everyone to read--including her boss.   Not her most intelligent move.    I have a surprise for everyone. Written words are still words!

Now don’t get me wrong. I actually love words.  I love communicating.  I love being able to share my life with my family and closest friends.   I love offering counsel and direction.  And I really love listening - truly listening.  Not simply waiting to get my next point across.  But I choose my words carefully.  I actually think before I speak.  Now that’s a novel concept.

So think about it. Every so often it’s really ok to stop talking and have a moment, an hour or even a day of silence.   It’s refreshing.  Trust me you can make it up the next day.

The Perils of Packing

You know most people love to travel.  I do as well.  However, I absolutely hate getting ready to travel.   You know that packing thing. WJJ and I are going to San Diego tomorrow for five days.  We are part of an international organization called Chaine de Rotissiere.  La Chaîne des Rôtisseurs™ is an international gastronomic society founded in 1950 in Paris to revive the traditions of the royal guild of goose roasters chartered in 1248. The Chaîne is dedicated to bringing together those who share a mutual interest in cuisine, wine, and fine dining in a spirit of camaraderie.  So basically it is an upscale eating drinking friendship club. 

So the events include a cooking demonstration, a country club dinner and a formal event.  The attire ranges from “Casual” to “Country Club casual” to “Black Tie.”  Do you really think I know what “Country Club casual” is?  I have everything from black leather to red cashmere pulled out trying to decide.  Actually I had decided what I would wear to that event.  It was a gorgeous green suede skirt with a gold top and a “vintage” Valentino jacket. The jacket is really understated and looks like a country scene from England.

When I showed my assistant Gina the outfit, she said, “Oh you can’t wear that--it’s horrible”.  She continued, “When did you become an old lady!” and added, “it looks like grandmas couch cushions minus the plastic covering!”  Thank you very much Gina. Guess I’m not packing that.  Gina also hated the gown I was going to wear.  She called it a prom dress gone bad.  Damn. That gown was so comfortable.  Instead I’m wearing a strapless form fitting gown that encourages me not to eat for 3 days.

Now, that’s a plan when I’m going to an eating/drinking event.  So I packed my once piece “nip and tuck everything” garment.  You know the one that starts right below your bra line and goes to your knees.  It takes about five minutes to put it on.  And the design definitely had a major flaw. The only way you could accommodate “tinkling” is to pull it all the way down again --which is nearly impossible in the confines of a ladies room.  So being the brilliant entrepreneur that I am & having shown a plethora of “peek a boo” undies in my life, I simply cut the crotch.  Not pretty but certainly functional.

Anyway the packing is almost done. But rest assured I will be adding and deleting until it’s time to leave the house tomorrow.  And if my previous record holds true, I will forget something. What makes this even more amusing it that I create master packing lists, check lists, do not forget lists etc.  And believe it or not, the one thing I tend to forget most often. . . . drumroll please. . . . . lingerie.   Not this time.  And I’ve even packed some Bedroom Magic! Just the soy candle --NOT!!!!!

 Well wish me luck and say a little prayer that I don’t gain 5 pounds --at least until after the black tie event!

(OH and by the way, it took me a full day to get packed & it took WJJ about 45 minutes.   Men have it so easy.  So not fair.  Anyway, I’ll keep you posted.)

Weighing in on the Weekend

This weekend was fun.  I heard really great UndercoverWear news and that always makes me happy.  The New England Patriots won their game and the weather in Hawaii was just about perfect.

On Saturday night,  WJJ and I  hosted a small dinner party for 8 people.  I decided to have an “Autumn theme” for the menu.  No, I didn’t cook.  I found a great chef who was reasonably priced and together, we created the menu.

 We started with passed hors d’oeuvers of Puff Pastry topped with smoked Gouda cheese and prosciutto and topped with caramelized onions.  We also had seared beef canapés which were  filet of beef rolled in peppercorns served with squash aioli.  When I tasted the beef it was superb!  The chef shared with me that he marinated the beef in molasses of all things.  No wonder they were so yummy!

The actual meal started with roasted butternut squash soup served in a bread bowl. 

That’s where the soup is actually served in a bowl made of bread.  I really loved it.  I wanted to pick up the bowl and start eating it.  I should have because then our guests probably would have done the same.

Next we had Loulu Salad which is romaine lettuce tossed with a bouquet of boiled shrimp, avocado, crumbled Big Island feta cheese finished with a zesty vinaigrette.  

Light and tasty.

Our main course was grilled New Zealand rack of lamb with wild truffle risotto and grilled vegetables.  Being Greek, I love lamb and it was done to perfection.

For dessert we had “Pumpkin Crunch” -pumpkin baked with a graham cracker crust served with chocolate pralines and vanilla ice cream.   And finally, we had homemade date nut bread that we served warm with lillikoi butter. 

And yes, we had champagne and wine pairings--which means each course had a different wine served with it.

I must say Anthony did a superb job. The meal was decadent and most delicious.  That’s the good news.  Now the bad news…

This morning, I made the unfortunate mistake of weighing myself.  Now why would I do that?  Did  I think that miraculously after eating all that food that I would actually loose weight or even stay the same?  No, I knew I would gain at least 3 pounds.  And I was right.  I did.  But the bigger question is why did I subject myself to this over the weekend? 

You know, we tend to occasionally do “dumb things”.  They range from really ridiculous to why the heck did I do that? Let me give you a few examples:

• Driving a car while talking on the phone without a headset.
• Drinking that one extra glass of wine.
• Trying a new face cream that gives you zits one week before your class reunion.
• Asking your husband if he thinks you look fat.
• Buying a fabulous new dress that’s  really tight because you just know you’re going to lose 10 pounds.
• Making a quick phone call when you’re already running late.
• Telling the wrong person one of you’re secrets (Now that’s a “biggy”)

Yes, we all do things that we wish we could take back.  These little mistakes of life.

One of my many mantras is that I try my best not to make the same mistake twice.

It’s ok to make a new mistake but not repeat an old one.  Most often it works. 

And so, clearly, any intelligent person would recognize what I am saying.  Never again will I make the mistake of eating a meal of this size and caloric content.  I’ll stay focused on my health and my weight and avoid this mistake in the future.

But the rest of you know what the real mistake was – Stepping on the scale the next day.  Now THAT’S the one I can avoid!

I am "Colorful"

I have a niece Monica.  Growing up she was very athletic and a bit “Tom-boyish”.  She was not impressed that I was very successful. She was not impressed that I had just been featured on Oprah.  She was not impressed that we had our own plane.  She thought we were nothing alike.  So one day I said, “So Monica, what do you think about me.”  At nine years old, she paused, took a deep breathe and said, “Well Auntie, you are colorful!  I loved it .  It will be on my tombstone.  And from that day, I realized that I could never be “beige”. That does not mean I can’t wear beige --I just don’t want to be beige.  Get it?  Oh, as an editorial comment, I did impress her shortly thereafter.  No it was not my business success, it was that she found out I can throw a pretty mean softball.   Oh but don’t confuse that with any athletic ability.  Trust me you’ll be hearing about my recent golf lesson. Disaster!!!!

Welcome to the Bedroom and Boardroom!

Aloha,

First I’d like to introduce myself.  My name is Tiffany James. 

In many ways I am very much like most of you reading this.  I am a wife, a mother, a tutu (grandmother in Hawaiian), a daughter, sister, and friend.   And, I do have a full time job.

However, there are several  rather unusual things about me.  But the one that most people know about, is that 30 years ago, I started UndercoverWear-- a lingerie party plan company.  That may not sound very strange today,  but if you go back 30+ years ago (before Victoria Secret), I was almost considered scandalous.  UndercoverWear grew meteorically. From day one to today, UndercoverWear has been an American Success Story.   Oh, that’s in case you haven’t figure it out --hence “from the Bedroom to the Boardroom”

For over 30 years, I have had the pleasure of working with women.  In fact the basis of our company is “women helping women” achieve their goals and financial independence.  Throughout my career, I have been blessed to watch women with absolutely no confidence start their business and within months they are able to stand in front of thousands of their piers sharing their success stories. 

But this blog is not going to be a “paid commercial” for UndercoverWear.  Of course, my life has been centered around four very important factors.  My faith, my family, my friends and my business.  So obviously, I’m going to be sharing the many lessons I have learned --hopefully in a humorous and informative manner.

Regardless of what life puts in my way, I try my darndest, to breathe deeply and understand that unless it’s “life or death”, I refuse to put any deep emotional energy into it.

Okay that’s enough philosophy for today.    Let me give you my objective for this blog.  Oh you should know that I am always, “OO”.  Objective Oreinted.  OK so my objective is to “chit chat”.  Based on the fact that my entire adult life , I have been part of UndercoverWear I can boast that there are three things I know very well.  Women, lingerie and Men!  Why men, because you women tell me everything about you’re the men in your life --sometimes far more than I want to know!!!!!

By the way, the question I am asked most often is “How did you start UndercoverWear”?  I usually tell a very detailed elaborate true story. But today, I will “fess up”, that I really do call it my immaculate conception.  I really didn’t do any great research or plan for months.  In fact, I got up one morning and said to my husband WJJ, you know what, I’d like to do a home lingerie party.  Of course, he thought I was nuts !  Ahh I told you I am unusual.