Countdown to Valentine's Day

As everyone knows, Valentine’s Day is about a month away. And for the next 30 days, men and women will be thinking about love and romance.  This couples’ holiday is the most celebrated event each year – yes, even more than birthdays or anniversaries. For ONE night (out of 365), couples are invited to get romantic.

Don’t you think there’s something wrong with that? 

Let’s start with you, ladies…

Imagine you’re going out with girlfriends for a really nice lunch. I’m confident you’ll “fluff and buff” and spend time deciding which outfit to wear down to the best-looking shoes.  At the same time, if you’re in a relationship, I want to you think about what you wear to bed at night. I’m going to bet you spend much more time trying to look good for your girlfriends, than you do each night for your husband or boyfriend.

Of course, this is AFTER he’s become your man...it was much different before you sealed the deal! Back then, you actually really spent time being loving, feminine and downright sexy.

It really boggles my mind when I hear younger women talking about their “romance attire.” They can’t see themselves wearing a corset and high heels in the bedroom. The thought of greeting a man at the door in a sexy little frilly apron and nothing else sounds silly to these girls. I’ve even heard them say, “that’s anti-woman.”

Are you serious?

I know. I’m just a “little old lady” who believed in “barefoot and pregnant,” made porridge and served my man. Every word out of my mouth was, “Yes dear.”  

Yeah, right.  If you believe that, you’ve obviously never met me!

For all you doubters, let me refresh your memory on my crusade to get women ahead in this world AND help them feel sexy all at the same time…

I started UndercoverWear at the height of the Women’s Movement – women were burning their bras and wearing men’s three-piece suits. Femininity was OUT and equality with men was IN!

Helen Gurley Brown, Cosmopolitan Mag editor wrote a ridiculous book, “Having it All.” She said women should get up every morning, look gorgeous, make breakfast, run off to work where she  should do more than her male colleagues, THEN come home to make dinner, be sexy and  be ready to make love “on demand.” 

Well, during a heated conversation at a New York luncheon, where I was seated with Ms. Gurley Brown, I called her out on her unrealistic expectations of women. I said her plan was “impossible to achieve”…I was never invited back to lunch.

Then, there was the debate with Gloria Steinem (then editor of Ms. Magazine) about her perception that there is no difference between men and women. I suggested she take a course in anatomy and said that while I do believe in equality (same job, same pay), I do NOT believe we are the same! When men can have babies, we will then be one and the same. I told her, “I will compete with any man in the boardroom, but my bedroom must never become a ‘bored’ room.”

Let’s not forget, ladies, Savvy Magazine made a list of the most-successful businesswomen, but they dedicated five pages (not just a listing) to UndercoverWear and me!

Sure, I’m just a fluffy little bowl of whipped cream whose only desire is to make my husband happy. Not exactly. I am a woman who can honestly answer “yes” to the question, “Have you ever used whipped cream for anything other than dessert?”  

I just don’t understand why this younger generation wears mini skirts and fabulous stilettos to the clubs to catch a guy, but thinks a t-shirt and baggy pants is okay once she has him.

If women really believe men have changed that much in what they like to see their women wearing, then take another look! Maxim, Playboy and Penthouse are still some of the best selling men’s magazines and we all know what those girls are wearing. If you ask 100 heterosexual men to describe what his fantasy woman would be wearing, it ain’t gonna be flannel pjs and big fat fluffy slippers.

So, between now and Valentine’s Day, you’re going to get the romance “wrath of Tiffany.” I will hopefully help a generation of women who struggle with balancing careers, motherhood, femininity, sexiness and relationships (yes, including romance, sensuality, and fantasy). Boy I’ve got my work cut out for me.

I may not be an expert, but I’ve been doing something right for a while now. I’ve done all of the above for a long time and I’ve enjoyed every role I’ve CHOSEN to play.

Well, obviously I’m on a roll. I’d love to hear your comments or answer your questions. We’ve got a lot to talk about. 

How to add some "Bedroom Magic"

As the cold weather arrives across North America – we’re all getting ready to spend more time indoors.  So, if we have to be stuck indoors, we might as well make it fun!  So let’s start decorating your bedroom to ensure that it is “Romance Friendly” and compatible to both of you.

The very first thing we want to do is look at the colors in your bedroom

 

Try to use only “man friendly” colors like Deep Green, Gold, Brown, Black, Burgundy, Navy or even plain old dark beige.  Stay away from any prints on your bedspread.  Once you’ve got the basic color, you can add your pretty pastels and prints via throw pillows, draperies and even accent pieces.  If your bedspread is plain Burgundy, then you can add some pink throw pillows as well floral pink, green and burgundy floral patterned ones as well.

I don’t think most women want mirrors on the ceiling, but if the room permits you may want to have a large mirrored wall behind the bed.  It will certainly make him happy, but it will also make your room look larger.  No, it won’t make him look larger but it will help the room. If the room is not conducive to a mirrored wall, make sure you get a full length standing mirror. When company visits, it will appear to be a decorative. Plus it will be useful to use when dressing.   Truth be known, you’ll later discover just how important it is when making love.

If you love candles- put them on display.  Get the large bulky candles in any color you wish.  You can live dangerously and even get pastel pink, green or blue.  But make it bulky –remember it’s bedroom trickery.  Again, you are combining masculinity, sensuality and femininity. Make sure you keep an UndercoverWear Soy Candle close to the bed.  That’s not about decoration, that’s about pleasure.

Make sure the bedroom is clean and neat.  This is more for YOUR benefit than his. For some reason, your sense of romance turns off quite quickly when you are looking at his pile of dirty clothes with his underwear and socks on top.

Now let’s go over some some basic “do’s and don’ts for decorating the Bedroom:

Don’t have your collection of “Precious Moments” or figurines on display. Way too cute and sweet.  If you’re going to collect something, try things like miniature high heels or “sexy” perfume bottles.  Most men will not mind that display.

Do display a great “couple” photo of the two of you.  Make sure he looks especially handsome. And don’t put the wedding photo in plain sight of the bed.  In fact, you should probably keep it out of the bedroom completely.  You don’t need to see the two of you 20 years younger and 20 pounds thinner.

Do have a nice chair or valet stand for him to place his clothes.  If you don’t know what a valet stand –it is a “manly” piece of furniture that will allow him to hang his shirt and pants in a convenient way. 

Do have a radio or CD player near the bed and put on romantic sexy music.

Do get a set of sheets with matching pillowcases and have them monogrammed.  This is a really inexpensive way to make the bed “feel” special.  Use the initial of your married last name as the center with the first name initials on either side   This reinforces HIS ego.  Amazing how much thought has to go into this, isn’t it?  Or if you prefer, you can monogram your first names on the pillowcase.  That’s just plain old cute.

Do buy some unusual sexy HOT fabrics. Consider red, purple, hot pink, or any animal print.  (No, they don’t have to actually match the bedroom décor. And you don’t have to hem them.  You will only use them for your Bedroom Magic Nights.)  I assure you, Martha Stewart will not be conducting a “spot check” on your bedroom that evening. 

Do make sure your fabrics are machine washable so you can use them again.  (Okay that’s the practical, thrifty side of me.)

Don’t keep your personal things like hairbrushes, combs etc in the bedroom.

Don’t keep family photos in the bedroom. When he’s on top of you making mad passionate love, and he looks down, he doesn’t want to see the kids, the grandkids, or even worse a photo of your parents staring at him.

Don’t put the TV on during your nights of romance.  In fact if at all possible, don’t even have a TV in the bedroom.  We always had a TV in the bedroom until recently. Guess what, we actually tend to “talk” a bit before going to sleep.  Talking not watching TV, now there’s a novel idea.   By the way, the same thing goes for your computer.  All of those are my favorites “technology taboo’s” in the bedroom.

 If your bedroom screams out “Victorian” and your man hasn’t complained, then for the time being leave it that way. But, go to a fabric store and buy those  unusual HOT fabrics to create a more sensuous environment. 

While your splurging on sexy bedroom accessories, think about a sexy rug.  You know the same colors as your HOT fabrics.  The good thing about a rug is you can roll it up and put in away when company arrives.  Again, this is not meant as a decorative accessory –this is only for your Bedroom Magic nights.

So those are some of the basic Do’s and Don’ts.  If you’re now saying, “Do I have to completely change my bedroom?   I don’t have the time or money or inclination to do so.”  Stop right now. This is not supposed to be a chore.  These are simply steps to help your relationship and equally important -your sex life.

The bottom line to all of this is, when it comes to decorating the bedroom, this is not the time to sing, “ I did it my way”.    Think compatibility.   While your husband may very well be oblivious to the current décor in your bedroom, let me tell you when that leopard fabric suddenly appears on the bed and the kids photos are gone and the computer has been removed, he will get the message that your bedroom is no longer just another boring room.  It will take on a whole new personality of it’s own.  And that personality includes fun, passion and excitement .