A Facelift?!

Well, I can’t believe Tiffany told you about my facelift. Usually, women deny it, but I’m not going to. Actually, I want everyone to know that yes, I am making changes.  

What Tiffany doesn’t know, is that this isn’t just a facelift. I’m getting by boobs done; liposuction, a tummy tuck and anything else that will make me look like a young, sexy, confident woman. (After all, I’ve been around for nearly 35 years!)

Playboy Magazine once said that I was instrumental in the sexual revolution of the 80’s – who would’ve thought? All that from something that started as a simple concept – “Treat Yourself to Something Special – because you deserve it.”

Since then, I’ve been invited into more than 10 Million homes, I’ve helped hundreds of thousands of women have fun and make money. Plus, I’ve seen lots of Bedroom Magic! (Oh the stories I could tell.)

Oh sure, I’ve traveled around the world with successful Agents; enjoyed our annual sales convention, “Rendezvous,” and I’ve experienced the many benefits my role. 

But damn it, I got tired. Sadly, I even got a few wrinkles along the way and I just didn’t have the same joie de vivre like in the old days.  

So, I decided it was time to do something about it. While I’m still bandaged up, I can already see the new me is going to be FABULOUS!!!! In fact, I assure you that instead of looking twice my age, I probably will look like a hot rockin’ 29-year-old.

I’ll be unveiling the new me in just over a week...I’ve marked my calendar for February 18^th as the big day, but in the meantime, I’ll keep you posted on my progress.

See you on the other side of GORGEOUS…

Love,

UndercoverWear

My Worst Valentine's Day!

I’ve shared with you the best, so let’s look at one of my worst Valentine stories.

Several years ago, my husband and I met a very nice couple from Boston. After going out together a couple of times, we thought of them as “friendly acquaintances.” Unfortunately, they considered us their new best friends.

They started talking in January about celebrating Valentine’s Day with us – the plan was to go to a great casual Italian Restaurant! First, I really didn’t want to go out with another couple on Valentine’s Day.  Secondly, we far preferred elegant dining.

Obviously, I wasn’t the least bit interested in spending Feb 14^th with them, but I didn’t really know exactly what to say. I didn’t want to hurt their feelings

About a week before Valentine’s Day, I fibbed. No, I lied – I told them we had company coming, so we were going to have a quiet evening at home with our guests.  They were disappointed, but understood and went to the Italian Restaurant themselves.

We, on the other hand, actually went to the Ritz for dinner – at our favorite table tucked away in the corner. The maître d and wait staff knew us well and we were greeted with complimentary champagne the moment we arrived.

As we sipped our champagne, our server delivered a bottle of Dom Perignon – a bottle we didn’t order. Initially, we thought it was from the manager, but the waiter was clear that the gift was from our “secret admirers” who were there that night.

Well, I looked around to see someone we knew – maybe our son or one of my sisters. Nope. You guessed it – there were our “best friends” sitting there grinning. Let’s face it, I got caught. I went over to their table with a lame excuse that that couple cancelled at the last minute. It was the best I could do. We invited them to join us and they obliged. Boy was I ticked and embarrassed.

I replayed this scenario for years afterward and I discovered two things. First, honesty truly is the best policy. (If that same thing happened today, I’d simply say, “we prefer to spend Valentine’s Day alone.”)

I also realized that our friends knew exactly where we dined. They never enjoyed fine dining; they preferred really casual places. It was not a coincidence that they showed up at the Ritz. Oh no, they were checking out my story. In reality, they got exactly what they wanted – to spend Valentine’s night with us.

So, while I received a massive case of “the guilties,” that Valentine’s Day, I also got a bottle of DP.

All in all, lesson learned and champagne enjoyed!

Valentine’s Day is about two weeks away and it’s all about romance and love. 

Let’s face it, this is a woman’s holiday – we expect beautiful cards, flowers and sentimental thoughts. And, of course, women spend hours looking for the perfect card for the men in our lives. It’s usually long and wordy and truly shows how much we adore him.

Reality check: those are the cards we like to receive. Men are just as happy to get a cute card with a double entendre or a sweet card with less than 20 words. I’ve pulled together some examples below.

First, let’s tackle the cute cards:

I love you in the morning,

I love you in the afternoon

 & I love you every night.

So how about it…

Let’s make love tonight.

 (Yes, I wrote this for my husband.)

OR

In every great relationship,

the man is usually on top.

(Usually, I say, “the woman is on top,” but if you’re giving it to a man, let’s make him feel good. Remember, it is Valentine’s Day.)

Now for the sweet card: 

You are a wonderful husband.

I am so lucky to have you in my life.

I love you.

Short, sweet and simple.

Now that we have that down, let’s talk about a gift for him for Valentine’s Day. Oh, come on…you know! Take out the corset, put on the hose and high heels, chill the champagne and create a night of passion.

My girlfriend (a professional artist) actually spent an entire day decorating her bedroom with red and white netting and tons of hearts – it was gorgeous! Her husband was delighted to say the least. I assure you, she was wearing UndercoverWear and had lots of lotions & potions to compliment the romantic décor. (I know, I sold them to her. The story stops there because I’ve been sworn to secrecy. After all, I’m an Undercover Agent.)

What am I doing this year? Well, there’ll be no decorating of our bedroom, that’s for sure – I’m not that talented. Plus, we’re attending an event on Valentine’s Night, so our celebration will be over the weekend… I’m already planning my ideas.  

By the way, not sure if I’ve told you this story…I once appeared on the Montel Williams show on Valentine’s day. I took the shuttle from Boston to New York in the morning and arrived back around 7 in the evening. There was no expectation on my part of celebrating Valentine’s Day that year.  However, when I got off our private elevator, I was led along a path through my bedroom and into the bathroom where my husband had a hot bubble bath waiting for me.

He had prepared champagne, caviar and an incredible dinner. Of course, I was dessert. This was one of the most memorable Valentine’s Days of my life!

Next week, I’ll share some of my best Valentine stories and my worst.

How about sharing some of yours????

The Perfect Valentine's Gift for Him

Valentine’s Day is about two weeks away and it’s all about romance and love. 

Let’s face it, this is a woman’s holiday – we expect beautiful cards, flowers and sentimental thoughts. And, of course, women spend hours looking for the perfect card for the men in our lives. It’s usually long and wordy and truly shows how much we adore him.

Reality check: those are the cards we like to receive. Men are just as happy to get a cute card with a double entendre or a sweet card with less than 20 words. I’ve pulled together some examples below.

First, let’s tackle the cute cards:

I love you in the morning,

I love you in the afternoon

 & I love you every night.

So how about it…

Let’s make love tonight.

 (Yes, I wrote this for my husband.)

OR

In every great relationship,

the man is usually on top.

(Usually, I say, “the woman is on top,” but if you’re giving it to a man, let’s make him feel good. Remember, it is Valentine’s Day.)

Now for the sweet card: 

You are a wonderful husband.

I am so lucky to have you in my life.

I love you.

Short, sweet and simple.

Now that we have that down, let’s talk about a gift for him for Valentine’s Day. Oh, come on…you know! Take out the corset, put on the hose and high heels, chill the champagne and create a night of passion.

My girlfriend (a professional artist) actually spent an entire day decorating her bedroom with red and white netting and tons of hearts – it was gorgeous! Her husband was delighted to say the least. I assure you, she was wearing UndercoverWear and had lots of lotions & potions to compliment the romantic décor. (I know, I sold them to her. The story stops there because I’ve been sworn to secrecy. After all, I’m an Undercover Agent.)

What am I doing this year? Well, there’ll be no decorating of our bedroom, that’s for sure – I’m not that talented. Plus, we’re attending an event on Valentine’s Night, so our celebration will be over the weekend… I’m already planning my ideas.  

By the way, not sure if I’ve told you this story…I once appeared on the Montel Williams show on Valentine’s day. I took the shuttle from Boston to New York in the morning and arrived back around 7 in the evening. There was no expectation on my part of celebrating Valentine’s Day that year.  However, when I got off our private elevator, I was led along a path through my bedroom and into the bathroom where my husband had a hot bubble bath waiting for me.

He had prepared champagne, caviar and an incredible dinner. Of course, I was dessert. This was one of the most memorable Valentine’s Days of my life!

Next week, I’ll share some of my best Valentine stories and my worst.

How about sharing some of yours????

Kahala's Most Wanted...A New Year's First!

Every year, my husband and I throw a New Year’s Eve Party. This year’s theme was “An Evening in Paris.” It was great! (If I do say so myself.)

It was French inspiration everywhere you turned…from the valet attendants, to the wait servers. There were drag queens greeting guests outside as very high-class prostitutes and our photographer had a drop dead gorgeous assistant in UndercoverWear’s Hot Samba Nights – our male guests are still talking about her (or should I say wagging their tongues?) That wasn’t all…we had a French Burlesque Show, a caricature artist, jazz musicians, a French chef and of course, wild music in the disco. Formidable!

However, something happened that evening that has never ever happened at any of our parties – and a lot has happened over the years. We’ve had people fall down stairs, we’ve inadvertently invited both the wife and the girlfriend of a guest, we’ve discovered sleeping guests the next morning in a bedroom and so much more.

But for the first time ever, we had “party crashers.”

We always greet our guests at our front door. When these two chicks arrived, I turned to my husband and said, “I don’t know them.” He assured me that someone must have brought them. But seriously, no one brings extra guests to our parties unless they ask. For a few moments, however, I gave them the benefit of the doubt.

I then asked my assistant Taryn to get their names. Of course, she was successful. I watched “Allison and Rachel” chat with our guests and eat our escargot. Now, I was getting annoyed.

I approached them with my sweetest smile and said, “So ladies, who do you know here?” One answered, “Oh the lady in the living room.” I responded, “And what might her name be?” Without skipping a beat, she said, “Rosalee.” 

Of course, I responded not quite so pleasantly, “There is no Rosalee here. You crashed our party, how rude.”

They started in with a series of excuses about living on Diamond Head, having just come back from Sri Lanka and oh yes, one “had too much to drink.” Like I really cared.     (They were still holding their champagne glasses the whole time!)

So I continued, “Again, I can’t believe you would be so rude.”

“Well OK, we’ll leave,” the drunk one conceded. Well that’s a thought!

Then, she thought she’d make one last request, “Can I just have one more glass of champagne before we leave?” 

Hello?????  I took the glass out of her hand and said, “No, I really don’ t think so. Time to leave. Happy New Year!”

The audacity!

I’d forgotten about the incident until we got our pictures back this week from our photographer. Guess what? Yep, as clear as day: 

   KAHALA’S MOST 

 WANTED

SEEN CRASHING PARTIES

NOT DRESSED TO KILL

$2012

I really think I’ll get Hawaii 5-0 on the case!

The Little Red Sachet

UndercoverWear recently featured an adorable little red satin  “corselet” sachet.

It’s scented and typically used to keep you bra, panty or lingerie drawer “fresh.”

In one of my UCW Tiffany’s training pieces, I suggested it also be used as a means of communication between couples. So, if you’re planning a special night of romance, you can simply put the sachet on the pillow and he’ll know tonight is his lucky night. 

Well, you can’t believe the controversy I raised…comments like, “Is she serious” and “That’s Stupid.” My personal favorite, “Why can’t we just say, ‘we’re having sex tonight’?”

I guess I’ve watched too many Doris Day movies. What ever happened to mystery or playfulness, with a subtle hint of “coming attractions” (pardon the pun)?

How do couples expect to keep romance alive and well, I wonder. Based on the reactions, I think there are some young relationships already on romantic life support.

You know, sex is sex. It can only be done so many ways. If you’ve ever watched an X-rated movie, after the first few minutes it’s all the same. How many times can we watch Body Heat or Like Water for Chocolate or even, Officer and a Gentleman?  (I’m getting turned on just thinking about it.)

OK, so maybe my sachet is “trite,” but after the comments I received, I put my idea to the test with my husband. We had been watching football all day and our Patriots won! After all the games, I placed the little red sachet on our bed. When my husband went upstairs, he looked at the bed a smiled.

He said, “Does that mean what I think it means?” (He knows me well.) I said, “Yes Dear.”   

In no time at all, champagne was chilled, the music was on, my husband was showered and looking very handsome.

What started as a little sachet on the pillow turned into – well, let’s just say it was quite a victory celebration! And today, well, the black sachet is on the bed. 

Need I say more?